Menopause has the PMS beat all to heck.

I mean, think about it: with the PMS you only have a few days a month where you can use biology as an excuse or explanation.

"Uh, yes, Judge I did bludgeon my husband with the vacuum cleaner because he forgot to do the livingroom rug AND I dragged his lifeless body to the driveway where I proceeded to drive over him four times in a row BUT I HAD THE PMS!"

I think we can all agree that no court in the land could ever convict a woman after hearing that.

Well, it appears that Menopause May Have The Same Magical Properties. Since menopause runs 24/7, I am pretty much dizzy with the possibilities.

I was at the gym yesterday running my way through another terrifically challenging Ten Bead of Sweat Workout CD, this one provided by Angel (partner in crime of Mis) when a guy came up to me on the elliptical machine. He wanted the machine. I smiled and explained to him I had 20 minutes left to go in my program.

He asked me again if he could have the machine. I pointed out that there were many other cardio options free and then asked why he didn't approach the man behind me.

"Well, SOMEBODY is in a mood," he said.

I was 15 minutes into the elliptical run and beginning to ride the wave of the endorphin buzz. I was feeling happy and somewhat mischievous.

"I'm menopausal," I told him solemnly.

Trust me, men do not want to hear this sort of thing from a woman they do not know. You could almost hear his brain screaming, "TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION. MUST. FLEE."

Nonplussed, he went to one of the treadmills without another word.

Bwahahahahahaha.

Since I last mentioned thermal incidents there haven't been any. If this is how my transition into menopause is going to be, well, all I can say is, "Bring it on."

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer 29.73 miles - 47.84 kilometers
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers