Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003
Dear Diary: I would offer to plant big, wet middle-aged woman smooches on all of you who have been so insanely generous in sponsoring me in the 5K/3 mile Jog for the Jugs in Montreal on Oct. 5 but I don't want anyone withdrawing their funds. My original goal to raise $100 for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation has been met and then some. On-line payments are in the $500 range and there are cheques pledged from loyal readers that would bring the total to over that. Since I haven't begun to really whine at my loyal readers, or to shake down friends and family, people at my gym, and random strangers in dimly lit alleys, I've upped my goal to $750. I figure as long as I'm not armed, the shaking down random strangers in dimly lit alleys part will only net me minimum jail time. Besides, vertical stripes are very slimming and most prisons come with great weight rooms, right? See, it's all about the positivity. Here are the kind souls who have earned the right to display the justly coveted Bazonga Booster button, the proof positive that they have donated their hard-earned buckazoids towards the spectacle of an older than dirt woman wheezing her way over 5K/3 miles of downtown Montreal. As if that wasn't thrill enough, they are also enshrined for all eternity in the Bazonga Booster Hall o' Fame!
Don't try to hide it. I can see right through you. You're sick with envy. You, too, want the sort of status that can only come with a shoddily Photoshopped red rectangle. Admit it. Sponsor me. It is The One True Path To Everlasting Joy And Happiness. No. Really. I mean it. Oh, and speaking of life's paths, one of my loyal readers, Witchy, has offered to donate a psychic reading to the cause. If anyone is interested in swapping a donation in return for a reading, you should e-mail her at yourgrace2001ca at hotmail dot com to sort things out. You realize what this is, right? Why, it's a Booby Prize! This constitutes the Very First Booby Prize ever offered through MarnCo, the ruthless multinational behind The Big Adventure. You know, back in January when I made a New Year's resolution to try run 500 miles by the end of 2003, I was in such poor cardio shape that I really didn't think I could pull it off. Had you said to me that by the following fall I would find myself running three miles non-stop, I would have laughed in your face. Wow. I really can't imagine what's next. Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers
Want to delve into my sordid past? She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 - .:Adventures In Oz:. .:12% Beer:. .:Links:. .:Host:. .:Archives:.
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