����Well, here it is Valentine's Day, the last day of the pity sex campaign for Jeffy and Fade In, and clearly, because no Mother Theresa of Sex has stepped forward, I'm just going to have to let go my secret dream of adding the word "pimp" to my resum�.

����I'm trying to be very brave about this.

����Yep, those fantasies of living large, of outrageous clothes, oversized, chunky platinum jewelry (gold is just so yesterday, don't you think?) and the snazzy pink Cadillac will just have to remain that � fantasies.

����I'm trying to be very brave about this.

����Oh yeah, I pretended it was about the guys, about tender concern about the explosion risk they face daily from Deadly Seminal Backup (DSB), but who am I trying to kid?

����The bottom line was that here at MarnCo, the giant multinational behind The Big Adventure, we had Long Term Corporate Plans for Jeffy and Fade In. The Board of Directors had decided that at first they would give away their services, but once word of their studliness built up, we were going to charge and charge large.

����The plan was to create brand loyalty, to ruthlessly make full use those coveted words "As Seen On Diaryland" in a relentless advertising blitz (and really, what holds more weight in the fine world of on-line journalling or the wider world of the internet than the words "As Seen On Diaryland"?).

    Exactly.

����It Was All About Money.

����I know. You must be appalled to once again have the cynical machinations of faceless corporate entities thrust in your faces, eh. What can I say? It's a cold world.

���� (And I think Jeffy and Fade In's own disappointment at this turn of events is probably self-evident. What fine, red-blooded young American man DOESN'T grow up dreaming to himself, "Jeepers, I hope that one day some Wildly Eccentric Foreign Woman Far Older Than My Mom Who I Don't Know In The Slightest will start an on-line pity sex campaign for me so I won't explode from Deadly Seminal Backup.")

����Yes, for almost a week they were Living The Dream and I'm sure there wasn't a morning when they didn't wake up and say to themselves, "Pinch me, this CAN'T be real." And then � and then to find out that it wasn't The Dream, just a heartless corporate plan to create McJeffy and McFade In and to thrust them into the dark world of White Slavery � well, they must be reeling.

����Yep, it's a dark day. The sweet illusions of Two Innocents have been shattered, corporate greed has been exposed, and heck, I even have to give up referring to them as "my ho's Jeffy and Fade In".

����I'm trying to be very brave about this.