The Marnmobile needed an oil change and when the spousal unit brought it back from the dealer's, he handed me a little box with the Toyota logo on it--a present from Toyota to let me know just how much I mean to them.

They gave me a keychain.

Yes, They Love Me That Much.

Oh, but wait, it's no ordinary keychain. It's The Coolest Key Chain in the Universe.

It's not just the Star Trek like design, and the tasteful matte finish on the metal, although I think we can all agree that that's pretty darn cool all by itself. And it's not just the impressively solid heft of it, either.

Want to know what's really, really cool about it? If you press that black button, you find it has a light.

Oh, I know, you have a keychain with a light, but this is not just ANY light.

It has a bright red Death Ray type light.

Oh yeah, I have an impressively Star Trek like key chain that emits a red death ray And You Don't!

I'll just give you a moment to let that sink in and for your envy to seethe and bubble.

There.

That should be enough time.

If you think YOU'RE insanely jealous of The Coolest Key Chain in the Universe, imagine how the spousal unit feels because he's actually seen it in action.

Oh yeah, he wants it.

He wants it bad.

One of those sensitive, caring, nurturing type women would not have thought twice about it. She would have given him that insanely cool key chain with a smile and love in her heart.

And me?

Oh man, the guy's dreaming in technicolour if he thinks I'm ever gonna cough up THAT keychain, eh.

Mine.

All mine.

Mwahahahahahahahaha.

--Marn