I think we can all agree that there are few things more festive than the sight of a cat with Christmas tinsel hanging out of its butt, eh.

    Yes, it's that time of year again; the time of year when the spousal unit and I put up the Christmas tree, decorate it, cover it with tinsel and then spend the rest of the holidays trying to keep my cat, Zoë, from eating mass quantities of tinsel.

    It never works.

    The cat just waits until we're out of the house or until we're asleep, and then she chows down on the glittery goodness. And since we all know that what goes in must come out, at some point during the Christmas season either

a) I will be cleaning festive glitter poops out of the kitty litter or
b) Zoë will end up walking around with a little bit of tinsel protruding from her rectal regions.

    (There was one year when not only was she trailing tinsel, but at the end of the tinsel was a small, hard round turd giving rise to many truly gross Christmas sleigh jokes before we snipped the offending tinsel off.) Hey, I live in the country. I get my humour where I can, eh.

    We have tried putting up a tinsel free tree, but that causes other problems. The cat then decides to "taste" various and sundry decorations. I figure that under those conditions, it's just a matter of time before she gnaws on a Christmas light and turns into feline flambée.

    Rather than experience that horror, we just let her produce disco doo doo. She's been doing it for over a decade, and frankly, now, it just wouldn't be Christmas without her festive feces.

    Oh, be quiet.