Friday, Nov. 07, 2003
I figured I had mapped out the final leg of my 500 mile to nowhere run this morning perfectly.
See, normally I do my entire cardio portion of my workout before I hit the free weight area. I run somewhere in the area of 3.5 miles in 45 minutes which leaves me tired but not whipped.
However, to get over the 500 mile to nowhere finish line today I needed to log 4.25 miles and I knew it would take me at least an hour of cardio to do that in one piece. It would just about kill me.
My cunning plan for today was to run half an hour on the elliptical machine first thing when I was fresh. I figured I'd cover something in the range of 2.5 miles--brisk, but not a killer pace. Then I'd do my weightlifting workout and spend a relatively leisurely 30 minutes on the elliptical finishing up that 1.75 miles I needed to cross the finish line.
What is it they say about the best laid plans?
Well, the first half hour went well. I got 2.48 miles on the Marnometer, hopped off the elliptical and wandered over to where we keep our workout sheets. My trainer intercepted me. She was stoked.
We have a new trainer at our gym, a guy in his early 40's. About three weeks ago he designed a new workout for my trainer and she's seen major gains from it. She decided this workout would be perfect for me, too. She described this new workout as "totally awesome".
I have no idea why, but hearing someone use the words "totally awesome" to describe something gets on my last nerve.
In a perfect world I would be allowed to instantly slap anyone who uses the words "totally awesome" in my presence and force them to think up new superlatives. Sadly, we do not live in a perfect world, so I did not slap my trainer into a richer vocabulary. But I wanted to. She'll never know how close she came.
While my trainer and I are just about the same size, she is nearly 25 years younger than I am and a fitness professional. The woman is in killer shape--not in a fitness model sense, but in the sense of incredible endurance and strength. In her enthusiasm, she set me at her levels for this workout.
If you want to take a moment here to blot your eyes from the tears of sympathy that instantly welled up when you read that last sentence, I understand completely.
Today's workout focussed on chest and legs, with special emphasis on the quads, the muscles on the front of the thighs. Although I wasn't able to complete a final set in any of the exercises, I threw myself headlong into them because I am insanely competitive and I wanted to keep up with my trainer.
Which, of course, I could not do. Along the way, though, I completely and utterly toasted my quads. By toasted I mean I worked them to the point of complete failure, to where they were burning and trembling and it felt as if I would never use my legs again.
By the time the workout was done I was on a major endorphin buzz. Major. My legs were so tired I had an eerie, floating feeling, as if I was walking on air, as if my feet weren't quite touching the ground. It was a wonderful feeling and I savoured it for 5.6 seconds, until I remembered that if I was to finish my 500 mile to nowhere run I had to haul those toasted legs back up on an elliptical machine and run another 1.77 miles.
One thing about working out is that it gives you a keen appreciation of how your body uses its muscles. I think I can honestly say that until today I'd never really appreciated how much you use your quads when you run.
My, but I grew to appreciate those quads.
Now another interesting thing I've learned through working out is that when one set of muscles is about to fail, sometimes your body will marshall another set to take up the slack.
For instance, if you do a tricep pull down with too much weight (the triceps are the muscles on the back of your arms, the part above your elbows) your abs will step in and try to help you finish the pull down.
Well today as I got to the final minutes on the elliptical machine my buttal muscles decided that they should step in. They really stepped in. They stepped in to the point where I am not typing this from a sitting position.
No, that would hurt too much.
I have moved my keyboard to sit on the top of my laser printer and I am typing these words standing up.
It is going to be a very, very long day. I am drinking lots and lots and lots of water in the hopes that I can flush out the lactic acid build up and actually sit again before I die. At the moment that is looking like a dicey proposition, at best.
Despite the discomfort, it feels wonderful to finally cross that finish line after all these months of plugging away. Know what would make today just perfect?
If I could only find those freaking miniature Snickers bars ...
finished Nov. 7
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
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