There was a bad storm last night and heavy winds took out a lot of trees. Power lines were down, there was debris on the roads. Hardly anyone showed up at my gym this morning.

Of course I did Because I Am A Freak. But then you knew that.

Besides, it was Day Three of my workout makeover, The Legs Day. I have extremely strong legs. After the humbling Arms and Shoulder Day as well as the searing humiliation of Back and Abs Day, I was looking forward to actually, well, kicking butt.

I think we can all agree that it is extremely touching that here I am in my 50's, and still capable of that level of na�vet�.

The first things my trainer threw at me were the dead lift and the stiff-legged dead lift, two fiendishly diabolical exercises that not only target the legs, but pretty much give you a full body work out.

No fair. This was supposed to be about legs my one physical strong point. You can well imagine my bitterness at other body bits being thrown into the mix.

I soldiered through them, but it wasn't the cakewalk I envisioned. Squats, another full body workout, are to be tossed in occasionally for added torture variety. Oh, and kickbacks, the one leg exercise I find too tedious for words? Of course, that was added to the menu.

I deeply, deeply regret whatever it was in my past life that forces me to atone in this manner.

I promise to never, ever do it again.

Oh, hey, before I forget, to those of my three loyal readers who are American Happy Marriage Protection Week!

Yes, I saw over at Francis' that the American president has declared this the week where you guys protect marriage.

Shhhhhh, don't tell anyone, but I think Francis is right--I think President Bush is worried about the homos.

Me, I think he's right to worry. Anyone who's watched Queer Eye For The Straight Guy knows that when you put homos in charge of lifestyle type deals the bar gets raised entirely too high.

You know, every time I watch the Fab Five I feel decorating, fashion, style, food and hair-challenged.

Please, don't make me feel marriage-challenged.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 461.84 miles (736.8 kilometers)

Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers