I decided it probably wasn't a good idea to show up at the U.S. border and tell them that I had explosive material in my trunk, so I took my Canada Day fireworks home before I went down into Vermont for my gym workout.

Oh, sure, Americans like to think of their country as the land of the free and the home of the brave, but an alarming number of states, including Vermont, don't allow their citizens to buy large tubes stuffed full of gunpowder and other pyrotechnical chemicals.

I know you're as sick about this as I am. I mean, where's the fun in celebrating a national holiday if you can't risk maiming, disfigurement, or at the very least poking an eye out while playing with Tubes of Sparkly Explosive Stuff That Goes Boom?

My thoughts, exactly.

Fortunately, here in Canada we're still great believers in the voluntary culling of the shallow end of the gene pool. So, if I don't update this diary again after July 1, well, you'll know what happened. Frankly, I'm surprised I made it to my 50's, all things considered.

Yep, July 1 is Canada Day, the celebration of 136 years of nationhood. The spousal unit and I will be joining a bunch of friends at a meadow part ways up a mountain about a half hour drive from here. There will be a potluck meal followed by a huge bonfire and then a fireworks display. It's a great, very personal celebration.

For the last few years I've been contributing that well known Canadian dish, nachos, to the potluck but this year I have a craving for comfort food. I've decided to make a couple of dozen Satanic Chicken Embryos (aka Devilled Eggs) instead.

Unlike the nachos, Satanic Chicken Embryos offer the possibility of salmonella poisoning from the eggs themselves and the ever popular food poisoning from the mass quantities of mayonnaise that go into them. Talk about your ticking time bomb of terror.

PLUS there will be mass quantities of beer. Beer and Satanic Chicken Embryos--if that isn't a recipe for methane related disaster, I don't know what is. Hrm, maybe the fireworks won't be the only thing to go boom tomorrow night, eh?

--Marn.

Mileage on the Marnometer: 329.34 miles (530 kilometers)
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers