The problem with democracy is that it does not recognize my position as Queen of the Known Universe.

As my three loyal readers well know, I have a profound and burning love for the British costume drama. The CBC has been playing the Forsyte Saga for the last few weeks, the cr�me de la cr�me of the genre, leaving me in a state of ecstasy seldom seen without the aid of chocolate.

Sunday night the CBC was running another episode. I was primed. I was ready. And then, to my horror, I was outvoted by the spousal unit, daughter and daughter's sweetie who decided they wanted to watch some crime drama!

A Crime Drama! You can well imagine how incredulous and deeply traumatized I was. I can understand the males of the household passing on the costume drama BUT MY OWN DAUGHTER?

For a dark moment I entertained the notion that perhaps they had given me the wrong baby in the hospital. Then I tried to steer them towards The One True Program.

I grumbled about the choice of the tee vee viewing.

I whined about the choice of the tee vee viewing.

The three of them ganged up on me and voted for the crime drama. Despite the fact that I like to think of myself as Queen of the Known Universe, the title only holds water if you can actually get someone to acknowledge it.

It can be a cruel world.

The spousal unit said he would tape the Forsyte Saga and I could watch it later.

Fine.

Last night they were showing yet another episode of the Forsyte Saga. I gobbled down my supper so I would have time to watch the taped episode from Sunday night and segue right into last night's wonderfulness. Two continuous hours of British Costume Drama Goodness. I was positively wriggling with bliss.

We rewound the tape. I stretched out on the sofa preparing to lose myself in the opulence, pushed the play button for the VCR AND THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE SCREEN. Blackness. The Void. Complete And Utter Emptiness.

Somehow, the VCR had not been set properly.

I gave the spousal unit a blistering look that said, "If I pull an all woman jury, it will be ruled justifiable homicide." The apologies were profuse. He reminded me that across the border PBS is showing the series and they're several episodes behind us in Canada so I can catch up.

Fine.

I fussed. I fumed. I grumbled. Because, after all, what's the point of being married if you don't occasionally pick on the person who's signed up to you on the lifetime plan?

Exactly.

Finally, to the spousal unit's great relief, Monday night's episode began. At the beginning of each bit of the Forsyte Saga, they give you the high point of the previous episode. I figured I was going to hear about an elopement.

INSTEAD, THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER AND I MISSED IT! The spousal unit twitched when the magnitude of what I had missed registered. All I can say is that he should get on his knees and profusely thank all The Powers That Be that PBS is showing the series a few episodes behind the CBC.

Otherwise ... well, all I can say is that as much as I hate housework (and we ALL know how hard bloodstains are to remove) it's highly likely life would have imitated art in a small log cabin off in the woods of Quebec.

--Marn

P.S.--The International Cavorting Day Hall of Fame is open. You, too, could be part of an institution that's just like the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame except that it doesn't involve music, Ohio, talent or an actual building.

Otherwise, they are remarkably alike.

Celebrate the notion that we should all have one day in our lives when we are free to celebrate a jolt of spontaneous happiness.

Post a button or post a link to the cavorting site and become enshrined! See yourself right up there on the screen!

Make a rubbing of your name!

Oh. Wait. Maybe that last bit wouldn't work. Nevermind that part, 'kay?

Today's inductees into the Hall of Fame are:

The first ten cavorters who entered the Hall of Fame I have dubbed The Mothers And Fathers of Cavorting. Don't worry, this does not involve messy blood tests, paternity cases OR child support. However, each time I update, I will feature one of them.

And now, can I have a drum-roll, please, for Today's Cavorting 'Rental Unit: