Thursday, May. 30, 2002
Dear Diary:

For years the spousal unit has mocked my nachos.

This hasn't stopped him from filling his face with said nachos should they appear in front of him, of course. However, as he gobbles them down he seldom fails to makes some remark about how my bean paste application is wanting, that my nachos are clumpy.

CLUMPY.

I think that we can all agree that it's mental cruelty Just Like This that has landed more than one marriage in the divorce courts. Since I've always felt that the kitties (especially Zubby) should have a strong male presence in their lives, for the sake of the cats I've endured his nacho mockery.

No one ever said marriage would be a bed of roses.

As my three loyal readers may recall, although the spousal unit has very little interest in cooking per se, he takes an intense interest in the cooking show "Nigella Bites." He says this is because Ms. Lawson prepares simple recipes that even he could cook.

Oh sure, *I* believe him.

He pooh poohes my contention that I seldom see his eyes waver much beyond Nigella's bountiful cleavage. He also claims he does NOT wriggle when she dips a finger into whatever she is making and licks said foody goodness off while making semi-orgasmic sounds.

Oh sure, *I* believe him.

Which leads me (oh yes, there IS a point here, it's weaving into view) to the potato ricer. Once, while watching Nigella make mashed potatoes of incredible fluffiness with a potato ricer, the spousal unit opined that said kitchen tool might be a good thing to have because it might allow even application of bean paste to nachos.

For the record, I want to state here that I expressed skepticism that this would work BUT I didn't say it wouldn't work.

Some might call this splitting hairs.

I call this a clear explanation of my position because I don't want anyone coming under the misapprehension that I could have, possibly, you know, been wrong.

To make a long story short (as if there's any hope of that at this point) the spousal unit was recently given a potato ricer as a birthday gift from our daughter who managed to find this semi-obscure kitchen tool in Montreal. I have been making egg salad sandwiches of amazing wonderfulness with it ever since, but have hesitated to try The Nacho Challenge.

Nacho nacho girl, I want to be a nacho girl.  Oh, like I could pass up making an obscure Village People joke.  Please.Last night The Fruit of Our Love, a.k.a. Jess, took matters (and the potato ricer) in hand. I am pleased to report the spousal unit was right. In light of my earlier clear delineation of my position on potato ricers as bean paste dispensers, we all can also agree that I Was Not Wrong.

Not that I'm obsessed about this or anything.

I just feel the record should be clear.

Oh, and before I forget, there is a secret to dispensing the bean paste evenly. You must hold the ricer fairly high above the nachos and jiggle it gently as the beany goodness is squirting out. That way the little strings break and fall evenly over the chips. If you hold it too low, the distribution is less than ideal.

IF my nachos were ever clumpy (and I'm NOT saying that they were) any possibility of clumpiness is now most obviously a thing of the past. As an extra bonus, the ricer cuts the nacho making time in half.

So yes, thanks to my daughter, the nacho-related mental cruelty will come to an end.

I guess that old clich� about couples staying together because of the children holds a grain or two of truth, eh?

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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