Ignore the soft thud thud thud sound you hear in the background. It's just me hitting my head on the mousepad. It will stop soon enough.

    The spousal unit has spent the night hiding the sharp cutlery. My first week of going to the gym has ended and I have gained eight, count them EIGHT freaking pounds.

    "Just think what you could gain if you started going four times a week instead of three," he said, said he.

    Paul sprints remarkably well for a man in his late 40's, have I mentioned that?

    What's mystifying to me about all this is that my clothes are already a bit looser around the waist. I'm wondering if this weight thingie has something to do with the eight glasses of water a day I've been commanded to drink as part of the unending torture which is my gym membership.

    I know I'm not eating any more than normal. Hunger's not an issue when you've filled a stomach with eight extra glasses of water, let me tell you.

    Hrm.

    Well, we'll see what comes of this.

    Normally I would have gone to the gym yesterday but we got another big snowstorm. Spring? Did someone say there's a season called spring? Not here in Quebec, where the new tourism slogan is, "Snow, you want snow? Tabernouche, we got enough snow to make you puke." (That would be a loose translation from the French, of course.)

    Okay, so this morning I'm getting ready to head out for the gym. I know that what with drifting and the snow plow going past there's going to be anywhere from six inches to a foot of snow to be shovelled out from the front of the garage where we keep the Marnmobile in the winter.

    I start whining about this, about how not only will I be walking a quarter mile down the mountain, but I will also have to shovel snow. Remember, this is the woman who is paying money to go to a gym to sweat for an hour and a half three times a week. And now she is whining about 20 minutes of shoveling snow.

    To say my pleas fell on deaf ears doesn't begin to cover it. Scorn. I was severely scorned PLUS I had to endure major eye rolling.

    Don't you just hate it when people roll their eyes at you?

    So the upshot was that not only did I walk down the mountain, shovel snow, AND sweat for an hour and a half at the gym ...

    Hey, I gained eight pounds.

    Um, wait a minute ...