Saturday, Jan. 12, 2002
Dear Diary:

    So this is what has replaced Tupperware parties.

    The spousal unit said he had taped something for me the other night and I was bored this morning, so I popped the cassette into the machine.

    It started with this elegant, middle-aged blonde woman fussing in her kitchen, so I figured he had taped me some sort of cooking show. We have well over 100 channels on our satellite dish, and there are endless cooking shows.

    But then what looked to be the woman's daughter came into the kitchen, opened the dishwasher, and the whole top rack was full of startlingly lifelike male dangly bits of what I assume was the latex persuasion.

    Hello.

    Actually, calling these things dangly bits is a bit of a misnomer, because they were in the um, er, ah "locked and loaded position". The woman told her daughter she would need a number of white six inchers, a Puerto Rican seven, and maybe a few black eights.

    As the daughter lifted each from the dishwasher, the mother slipped it into a large red bag and then into a briefcase in the most businesslike manner possible. I noticed that behind the bulbous bits of each latex lovely was a large suction cup.

    Not that I was staring intently or anything. No. Not me.

    "I never expected to be making my living this way," the woman said and then hopped into her car.

    Cut to a room full of giggling women in their late 20's, early 30's sitting around a table, each with a plate in front of them with one of the latex love logs firmly affixed in the middle by it's suction cup, and a tube of lube nearby.

    Hello.

    When I was that age I was getting dragged off kicking and screaming to Tupperware parties. Now it appears that women get together for Fun With Pee Pees seminars.

    I'm trying not to be bitter.

    You know, I've been married for 27 years now and the spousal unit's love slave for over 30 years so I kind of thought that I had pretty much figured out what there was to know about Fun With Pee Pees.

    The winters are long here in Canada, you've got to have a hobby, eh.

    Having watched this tape, all I can say is that I am now a humbled woman. Clearly I have much to learn yet (and a few new things to try out). The pi�ce de r�sistance for me was watching her put a condom on a log o' love using nothing but her mouth. I knew it was possible, and you neonates probably do it all the time, but I just couldn't quite put together the fine points of how it was done. Now I know.

    So today one clich� was proven, another disproven.

    Yep, a picture IS worth a thousand words.

    Oh and you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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