Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2003
Dear Diary:

I slumped on a chair in my gym this morning, my hair matted with sweat, a wet vee of sweat on the front of my tee, trying to psyche myself up for that final 35 minutes on the elliptical machine.

I sipped The Dreaded Soy Protein Beverage.

Each mouthful sapped my will to live.

"Jeez, that looks good," said a guy on a nearby treadmill, admiring the thick chocolatey appearance of The Dreaded Soy Protein Beverage.

"It's actually pretty puke-a-rific," I replied.

He started laughing so hard I was afraid he might forget where he was and rocket off the back of the treadmill. He asked me where I came up with a word like that and I realized that it comes from here, from The Big Adventure, and that the way I write here is beginning to change the way I speak.

No one is more alarmed by this than I am. I mean, there are certain things that are common usage in the wonderful world of on-line writing. If I find myself saying things such as, "Yo, dude, that totally sucks donkey balls" I may be forced to have my tongue surgically removed.

Let us all hope it never comes to that.

In other puke-related news (because, really, once you start talking about vomit, who wants to stop?) one of my cats has begun to hork up breakfast once a week or so.

This is just another of Zoe's many age-related problems. She's almost blind now and doesn't hear that well but she doesn't appear to be in any pain so I'm putting off the inevitable as long as I can.

I talked to her vet about it. He put her on the senior citizen's version of catfood, and that's helped but hasn't cleared up the problem completely.

Zoe and I have had several heart-to-heart chats about the upchucking. I have mentioned to her that I would really, really prefer that if she needs to do it, she tries to schedule it for the hours when the spousal unit is at home. See if it happens when HE'S at home, then it's automatically HIS responsibility to clean it up.

(All things odiferous became the spousal unit's responsibility back when I was pregnant with our daughter. I had morning sickness so severe that just the barest whiff of something off-kilter would send me racing to kneel to the porcelain god, so he became Puk�mon.)

I was last pregnant on Aug. 23, 1978 so technically I should re-shoulder some of the odiferous responsibilities, but, well, I do my very best not to.

Sadly, the cat is so totally self-involved that she is not thinking about MY needs at all and she spews at will. Today I came home to another Zoe present. I discovered it as I padded into the bathroom in my stocking feet and stepped on something warm, wet and squishy.

There are no words for the horror. Even worse, because Zoe was so inconsiderate about scheduling her pukefest, I was forced to clean it up myself. Had the spousal unit been home, I could have hopped on one foot to him while making sounds of disgust so that he would deal with both my vomitous footwear AND the floor.

Life can be so cruel sometimes.

Well, the mess is cleaned up and the cat and I have had another chat. I've mentioned to her that the spousal unit is home pretty much fulltime on the weekends, so I'd really appreciate it if she'd pencil in hurling for then.

Only time will tell if she's gotten the message.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 82.97 miles (133.5 kilometers) Ten percent there rubber duck.
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers

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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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