For a month now I have hauled my unwilling body outside into sub-zero temperatures and driven half an hour to throw myself into the unwelcoming arms of the elliptical cross training machine at my gym. Three days a week, seventy minutes a day it's me and that freaking machine.

While on this machine I pedal an average of 4.4 miles. At the end of this I am covered in sweat, my hair is matted down, and I am a pink best described with the words "dead lobster".

So why am I doing this?

Why for the rubber duckies, OF COURSE.

To be more specific this rubber ducky:

Yes, I am KILLING myself for a small virtual rubber duck.

Oh be quiet.

It was Paula who came up with the inspired notion that those of us involved in the Five Hundred Miles To Nowhere Project should have a small icon to mark every ten per cent's worth of progress.

Gradually, rubber duckies began to sprout on the page. I can't begin to tell you how much I coveted those other people's rubber duckies.

I desperately, desperately wanted my own rubber ducky.

I wanted my own rubber ducky so badly that I would push myself far past where I thought I could go, to the point where my legs burned and the sweat poured off me. Because, well, if I did that enough then I could have the incredible cachet of a small bunch of glowing yellow dots by my name on an obscure little web page.

Oh be quiet.

You know, there are many, many excellent reasons to give yourself a good cardio (heart) workout like this at least three times a week--you'll lose weight, you'll make your heart stronger, you'll strengthen your spirit (because of all those wonderful exercise endorphins), and paradoxically you'll have much more energy. I started out my New Year's resolution to travel Five Hundred Miles To Nowhere for those very reasons.

But even you know what? If it wasn't for the encouragement of the other people in the Five Hundred Posse AND the prospect of a small virtual rubber ducky, I know would have slacked off by now. Oh yes, a few kind words from people I don't know and the thought that one day soon I could have My Very Own Virtual Rubber Ducky and I was all over that stupid elliptical machine as if it was Harrison Ford or something.

Oh be quiet.

Yesterday I got my first rubber ducky. I actually dragged the spousal unit in here last night to admire my rubber ducky. He said it was a very fine rubber ducky, as virtual rubber duckies go. He said that with a straight face because if he has learned nothing else, the spousal unit has learned that humouring his church and state sanctioned source of marital duties Is A Good Thing.

And, since I'm spilling ALL the beans, I must confess that I actually went to the Five Hundred Miles Project diary this morning and again admired my virtual rubber ducky.

OH BE QUIET.

One ducky down, nine to go.

You have no idea how much I look forward to having all my ducks in a row.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 53.87 miles (86.19 kilometers)
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers