Today was my annual check-up at my dentist's and what with me being the first person of the morning, the waiting room was empty, just the receptionist and I.

She's a woman about my age who's also into strength training. As I waited for the dentist to show up we compared workout routines, progress and commiserated over the never-ending pancake butt battles almost all middle-aged women must fight.

I had to show her my biceps. Shut up. That is *not* immature. She ooh-ed and ahh-ed. Then I shared the wonder that is my tricep muscles. She was suitably impressed. My dentist was somewhat taken aback when he appeared at the doorway to call me in for my appointment and found his receptionist feeling my tricep.

I told him it's a girl thing. He laughed.

My original dentist of 20 plus years has retired now. I miss him so much. He used to belt along to Glenn Campbell as he worked on my teeth.

Oh I need a small vay-caaaay-shun
But it don't look like rain
And if it snows that stretch down south
Won't ever stand the straaaaaain
And I need you more than want you
And I want you for all time ...

Karoake Dentist! Now THAT'S a dental experience.

The new dentist is a young zygote with spiky gelled hair who plays easy listening music. I'm sure he goes home at night and plays death metal, but at the dental office it's soul sapping easy listening. He makes extremely boring small talk. I ... I ... I feel so cheated.

Oh, and there's been Another New Disturbing Development. He's put Winnie The Pooh decals on the ceiling of the dental office. Winnie. The. Poo. There I was, lying on my back in the dental chair with that insanely bright dentist's light burning out my retinas, wondering if the last permanent image they would record was Tigger.

You can well imagine my pain.

The good news is that I don't have any cavities. Even better, not only is my new dentist giving out free toothbrushes, He's Also Started Giving Out FREE DENTAL FLOSS! Yep, I pay him $65 for a check-up and cleaning and he gives me a FREE toothbrush and FREE dental floss.

FREE.

$65 to him, two small plastic things to me.

Hey. Wait a minute. Maybe this isn't quite the bargain I thought it was ...

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 514.33 miles (827.8 kilometers)
met goal Nov. 7

Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers