Monday, Nov. 03, 2003
Dear Diary:

My new mantra has become "That which does not kill me makes me stronger."

I bought two bags of mini Snickers bars and several rolls of quarters to give out to the trick or treaters for their candy bags and UNICEF boxes. Because our road is steep and twisting, we block it off Hallowe'en night and leave a sign directing kids down to the home farm, where my mom-in-law lives. I leave candy and loot there for her to give out.

Well, this year she didn't get a single trick or treater. I was a vision of restraint when I heard the news. Oh yes, outside I was cool as a cucumber but inside visions of 32 delectable miniature Snickers bars danced in my head. I could almost taste them.

The spousal unit stopped by his mom's this morning to pick up the minature Snickers bars. Thirty-two delectable miniature Snickers bars. When he walked in the door here it was all I could do not to push him aside, rummage through his stuff and grab the delectable miniature Snickers bars.

I knew something was up when he would not meet my eyes.

It turns out that my 20-year-old nephew dropped by my mom-in-law's Sunday and in one sitting scarfed down ONE WHOLE BAG OF DELECTABLE MINIATURE SNICKERS BARS!

SIXTEEN DELECTABLE MINIATURE SNICKERS BARS.

GONE.

FOREVER.

You can well imagine my pain. It was all I could do not to hyperventilate myself into a frenzy over this shocking turn of events.

There are two foods over which I have absolutely no self-control. One is potato chips, that wondrous combination of the three main food groups--carbs, fat and salt--and the other is chocolate. I have dealt with my potato chip issues by simply refusing to have them in the house.

Chocolate, though, is another matter.

A person can live a happy and fulfilling life without potato chips, but a life without chocolate? I think we can all agree that a life without chocolate is not really living, it is merely existing. If I was in charge of drawing up the food pyramid, I would put chocolate by itself at the peak as a distinct food group, the pinnacle of food wonderfulness.

The way I have dealt with my chocolate issues is to make the spousal unit The Keeper of the Chocolate. It is his job to hide the chocolate and dispense out small morsels of chocolate to me. This way I have a full and happy life and I can actually get through doorways without having to turn sideways.

The thing is, we live in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny log home. There are limited hiding places. Over the years I have sussed out the spousal unit's chocolate caches. It is a bit of a game between us--him trying to find new places to stash the chocolate, me trying to find it.

Have I mentioned that I will be 53 in May? Yes, yes I am living proof that a person's chronological age has no bearing whatsoever on their maturity level.

So, like I said, the remaining 16 delectable miniature Snickers bars arrived here this morning. In an act of truly diabolical cruelty, the spousal unit has managed to hide them so well I cannot find them.

I. Cannot. Find. Them.

Altogether now: That which does not kill me ...

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 491.04 miles (790.3 kilometers)
Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Half way smoochTen percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers

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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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