A lesser woman would have committed ritual suicide with an icicle, but I have taken the overnight dump of yet another six inches of freakin' snow in my stride.

    Oh, who am I kidding?

    The truth is that I have gone into denial so deep that the light of reality is but a faint glimmer in the distance.

    Yes, today I planted burgundy sunflower seeds, some cactus zinnia and some canary bird vine as if there is a possibility that one day I will live in a place without snow, as if one day I will again know summer.

    Where oh where are the guys with the big butterfly nets, the restraint jackets and the padded rooms when you need them, huh?

    Want to know what's even more annoying?

    I swear it's been 30 minutes already and not a darn thing has sprouted yet.

    I Want My Instant Gratification and I Want It Now.

    .:cough:.

    Oh and speaking of instant gratification (segues so smoove they're like butter, eh) three weeks into The Big Gym Adventure I am developing my first muscles! Biceps! I AM GETTING BICEPS.

    For the last few days, like any mature woman just a few months shy of her 50th birthday, I have been forcing the spousal unit to admire my beautiful new biceps, too.

    Constantly.

    "Feel my muscles," has become the new mantra around here. There has been a little eye rolling about this.

    So this morning I came down to breakfast and this is the little tableau which was created for my benefit.

    I think someone has entirely too much time on his hands, eh.

    I wonder if I can think of some extra weekend chores ...