That joke I made about shaking down strangers in dimly lit alleys to raise money for the breast cancer run in Montreal on Oct. 5? I am coming alarmingly close to that.

I have never, ever done fundraising before because I absolutely hate asking people for money. But, crap on a stick, if people I don't know are willing to cough up $665 of their hard-earned buckazoids to become Bazonga Boosters, then the least I can do is harass anyone stupid enough to make eye contact as we pass on the street.

So, I've been doing just that.

A real estate agent that I know from the time about 20 years ago when we both worked as census takers? Shook her down. The woman at the local computer store where I've had tee shirt transfers printed? Didn't stand a chance. The guy at the place where I get photocopies done? Ditto.

Friends I met in the grocery store? As I see it, eating Kraft Dinner will prepare their kids for those university years. Family members? What's the good of having family if you don't annoy them with pleas for money?

I've gathered $245 so far in $5 and $10 dribs and drabs. It's been hard for me because like I said, I really, really hate asking people for money. Plus, the Canadian Cancer Society held a drive in this region not long ago, so lots of folks feel they've already given enough to cancer research.

It's been awkward and tiring, but between the web and my community, the total now stands at $910 which is amazingly close to my bright, shiny new goal of raising $1,000. AND I still have friends I can alienate with pleas for money! I foresee my social status dropping from Mere Outcast to Total Pariah about two weeks from now. Oh well, it's a good cause and since many of my friends are my age, I'm counting on short term memory loss problems to eventually smooth over the situation.

Two more generous souls have been inducted into the Bazonga Boosters Hall o' Fame for sponsoring me to Run the 5K/3 Mile 2003 Jog for the Jugs In Montreal on Oct. 5:

have earned the right to proudly display this shoddily Photoshopped image.

Now you'd think that the knowledge that you've helped in the fight against a disease that hits one in ten women AND that you get to display a shoddily Photoshopped image would be recompense enough for your generosity.

Well, yet another of my three loyal readers has stepped up to the plate and is offering another Booby Prize to someone who is willing to sponsor me. Eliza in Australia has offered to hand knit a scarf in colours of the donor's choice and mail it right to their home! A scarf! A handmade scarf! From The Land Down Under!

I know. If MarnCo hadn't prohibitted employees and family of employees from winning any prizes involved in the Bazonga Boosting, that scarf would be mine. So, first person who donates and lets Eliza know scores a scarf.

Wednesday I ran my first continuous 5K. Yep, I started at my place, ran all the way to the end of the road, ran all the way back to Gail's (as if any of you know where Gail's is) and then ran all the way back to my driveway. I was tired, but not impossibly so.

A rational person would at this point relax, just keep up the current level of training. But then, as we all know, I am not a rational person. Running 5K Is Not Enough. Now I have decided that I must run 5K fast and I've switched to the training program designed to optimize speed.

My past pledge to outrun senior citizen snails? Mere piffle. Yes, not only am I upping the financial ante, I've decided to up the physical ante.

So, all you turtles who have signed up to run the Jog for the Jugs?

I am so kicking your butts.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 389.63 miles (627 kilometers)

Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers