Friday, Sept. 26, 2003
Dear Diary:

My friend Annie is here for a visit. She's just the easiest guest to have, never needs to be entertained. We've known each other practically forever, since 1973. We were in uhhhhhh, pre-school then.

Anyone believe that?

Anyone?

Oh, okay, so we were university journalism students in the same science writing project. Like all friendships that long, ours has waxed and waned but somehow we've managed to always keep in touch.

Despite the fact that she has little interest in fitness, Annie still has her twiggy figure. I know. It's hard not to be bitter. Last night while I was doing my stretching routine, I invited her to join in because I thought it would be an easy introduction to exercise.

I have been working for months and months on stretching, trying to coax my aging body into more suppleness. I showed her a move that stretches out your shoulders. You lace your fingers behind your back and try to ease your arms upwards. I am insanely proud that I have loosened my shoulders to the point I can get my arms part way up.

Annie laced her fingers together and got her arms straight up to shoulder height, so her arms were parallel to the floor.

Effortlessly.

Fine.

I showed her other stretches. It soon became painfully apparent that I have the female version of Gumby visiting.

Fine.

Me, I work endlessly at the gym and I am, oh, how to put this politely ... chubby. Annie does zero exercise and she is lithe. Me, I have been working very, very hard to make my body flexible. My friend, who is slightly older than I am (AND DID I MENTION THAT SHE DOES ZERO EXERCISE?), has the flexibility of a Cirque du Soleil contortionist.

It was very, very hard not to cry myself to sleep last night.

Very hard.

On a much, much happier note, the latest tally in the Oct. 5 Jog for the Jugs is $2,740.96. Thanks largely to the generosity of my three loyal readers, Boobs Canada (also known as the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation) has received over $2,000 in on-line donations, the rest of the total from loyal readers, friends, family, neighbours and strangers shaken down in dimly lit alleys.

.:cough:. Donations are open until Oct. 3, of course. .:cough:.

I want to thank each and every person who parted with some of their hard-earned buckazoids for this. I know that many of my loyal readers are students, others are unemployed, so you many who gave aren't exactly rolling in loot. I am grateful for your generosity.

Also, thank you to those of you who have given me the honour of sharing the name of someone who has experienced breast cancer, changing this from a run for a cause to a run for people. Included in this list is the name of a man, a sharp reminder that this isn't an illness that hits only women.

I can't say it any more eloquently than the donor said it: "Breast cancer is more rare in men but it also is even more deadly in men. Men often do not catch the early signs because they don't think about the possibility of breast cancer when they find a lump or an inverted nipple." Food for thought, guys.

Oh, and I have to post a correction. I used the words "bling bling" the other day as a synonym for cash when I was extorting begging you for donations. Well, Tina wrote in to tell me that it actually means jewelry.

There goes all my street cred.

Oh. Wait. I don't have any street cred.

Whew, I feel so much better.

--Marn

Behold the power of pretty please covered with sprinkles! Here's the new inductees into the Bazonga Boosters Hall o' Fame, kind-hearted souls who have decided to spend some of their hard-earned buckazoids supporting me as I run the Jog for the Jugs Oct. 5 in Montreal.

Yelnad
Kiss A Frog
Jamie Star
Kim
Angel Livia
Leia Scully
Plankton
Aubeneau
Ruth McKay
Pulling the Puzzles Apart
Keely
Infinidox
Past-Imperfect
Things We Said Today
John and Heidi Parker
Julia B.
Steven Winikoff

Some folks have been donating but I don't recognize their names and they haven't e-mailed me to let me know who they are. To you mystery people, I want to say thank you, too. Please let me know if I've missed adding you to the Hall o' Fame.

All donors can proudly sport the shoddily Photoshopped yet justly coveted red rectangle below.

Boob oop de doop eh

P.P.S.- That iron woman, Karen is doing an unbelievable 60 MILE WALK FOR BREAST CANCER! If you don't want to sponsor me, perhaps you'd want to sponsor her. Oh, and ***Dave's friend Mary is also doing that walk. Yowza, that makes that 5K Jog for the Jugs seem embarrassingly short.

Mileage on the Marnometer: 445.25 miles (716.6 kilometers)
Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Half way smoochTen percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers

Going Nowhere Collaboration

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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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