Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003
Dear Diary:

The next time that someone is complaining about how brutal and competitive life seems to be, look them in the eye and tell them, "I know. It's a frog eat frog world."

Gangstas.  Frogs are gangstas.

My three loyal readers will be saddened to know that the whole Kermit thing is a lie. The happy, sensitive, caring frog we've all grown to love from his years on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show? It's a sham perpetuated by those slimy amphibians to throw us off the trail of Their True Selves.

Oh yeah, if some thug wanted to let us know how tough he really is, he'd just get a band of frogs tattooed around his bicep.

I was playing in the mud and water I was carefully examining the perimeter of my pond, trying to figure out how to end part of a stone wall, when I happened to look over and saw the vignette above. This isn't the first time I've witnessed frogicide, but it is the first time I've seen one frog eat a frog at least as big as itself.

It took about half an hour for Frog A to get Frog B stuffed into his tummy. Since they were pretty much the same size, I'm not exactly sure how this was accomplished. I considered intervening, but Frog A was giving me that, "Yo, you want a piece of this?" look that told me that one false move and it could be MY legs sticking out of his mouth.

I still have a lot left to live for. I decided to let nature take its course.

Speaking of nature, well, I also got a small lesson in my own nature. As my three loyal readers might recall, for years now I've been eagerly anticipating the flowering of my false indigo aka baptisia. And for years now, just seconds before it was due to flower, deer would come and eat all the spiky purple flower stalks off.

Well, this year it flowered. For the first time. And well, although it was nice, it was uh � oh man, I might as well spit it out.

Look, It Wasn't Good For Me. Frankly, I was disappointed.

First off, there are size issues. It's just not big enough, there's just not enough of it. Oh, I know, they TELL you size doesn't matter, but that's a load of hooey. Since this is the blue range of the colour spectrum, we both know you need A LOT of it for it to make an um impact.

The spousal unit thinks that part of the problem here is that I've built this plant up so much in my head that there was no way it could, er, come up to my expectations. He feels I may have to explore some new positions--you know, maybe changing where I put it may uh increase my satisfaction.

I'm ambivalent. I find that as I get older it's more and more about my needs. So, for the moment, baptisia and I are no longer hot 'n' heavy. I'm hoping that with time We Can Learn To Become Friends, but I'm not sure how that's going to work out.

Fortunately, LeeboZeebo one of my partners in crime over at 12% Beer, the empire of monkey love and beer sent over a small present to see me through this painful time in my life:

I have my needs.

Ah yes, while my other passions may wax and wane, it appears that I will always have one constant in my life.

I have my needs.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 337.22 miles (542.7 kilometers) Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck. Half way smoochTen percent there rubber duck.
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers

Going Nowhere Collaboration

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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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