The woman who once likened tofu to semi-petrified wombat snot as of today began drinking a soy protein beverage right after her workout.

The best I can say about said soy protein beverage is that the industrial levels of chocolate flavouring make it somewhat less disgusting that one might expect.

Oh be quiet. I will clutch at straws if I want to.

This protein beverage is part of my new goal--I have decided to become Marn, Warrior Princess.

Just wipe that smirk right off your face.

It could happen.

Last time I joined the gym my basic goal was simply to pull myself into a reasonable level of fitness and I did that.

Now I've decided to see just exactly how strong I can become.

Don't worry. I'm not going to dabble in anything such as steroids or exotic supplements. I'm just going to make sure that I eat well, get protein when I need it, and see just how strong I can make this aging carcass.

For instance, today I easily squatted 80 pounds, three reps of 15. Had I been alone in the gym, I would have pounded my chest and made territorial gorilla sounds right after I finished.

I know. I can be so very girlie sometimes.

Since the gym was busy, I just stood there all pink and sweaty and beamed at a very heavy metal pole with heavy metal rings on it. Funny where life takes you � when I was young, I yearned to dance The Funky Chicken. Now I dream of moving extremely heavy bits of metal up and down for no real purpose whatsoever beyond proving I can.

I have grown so much as a person, don't you find?

I've got the leg press up to 315 pounds now (the sled portion of this machine weighs 125 pounds and I add another 190 pounds in free weights to it.) I am insanely proud of this fact. As I told the spousal unit, if any circuses come through the village looking for someone with legs strong enough to spin an acrobat around--hey, I could totally do it now.

Talk about your valuable life skill, eh?

My thoughts, exactly.

In light of these numbers, I've set myself two goals -- to try to squat 100 pounds and to have the leg press up to 400 pounds (or TWO acrobats) by my birthday on May 22. I have no idea whether or not I can do it, but I'm going to try. I mean, really, those seem reasonable numbers for a Warrior Princess.

Now we get to the pitiful portion of our program.

I have been stuck at 65 pounds on the incline bench press since just about the time Moses parted the Red Sea. I try and I try, but I cannot get any gains on this at all. I have yet to pull even ten reps out of my third set--by the time I get to my eighth lift my arms are shaking and I can't get the bar up more than part way.

Today Glen was spotting me. When I became mired he lifted the bar for me WITH ONE FREAKING HAND and then told me I was doing really well "for a girl". For A Girl. I know he meant well, but those words coupled with the fact that HE can lift that total weight WITH ONE FREAKING HAND made me feel, um, well, puny.

So I've decided to try to get the incline bench press up to 75 pounds by my birthday. The odds of this actually happening are about as great as Harrison Ford coming to his senses and finally realizing that I Am His One True Love, but hey, a woman can dream, right?

Oh be quiet.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 72.61 miles (126 kilometers)
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers