2001-03-13
Dear Diary:

����First off, I think it may be over between Harrison Ford and me. I know, I know you're all shocked and saddened, but you'll just have to buck up.

����Adam dropped this picture of Harrison and Marilyn Manson into my guestbook and ever since I've been in an uncontrollable tizzy.

����It's ... it's ... it's just so wrong to see these two people together. The thought of them in the same universe is mildly disquieting. Seeing them sitting together makes me doubt the existence of any order in the universe at all. We'll just have to see if I can work through this terrible shock, eh.

����And speaking of wrong on so many levels (this smooth segue was done by a professional, don't try this at home without adult supervision) two neonates by the name of Polythene Pam and Karrot Kake are using my guestbook to disseminate bald faced lies.

����Yes, these two sadly misinformed zygotes are claiming that Paul and/or John is the most lovable Beatle.

����Excuse me?

����EXCUSE ME???

����I'm sorry, but every thinking person knows that The Best Beatle is Ringo. All I can think is that those two unfortunate young people were either:

����a) kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army and force fed anti-Ringo propaganda

����b) raised by wolves

����c) in a terrible car accident which erased all their memories and then reprogrammed by an evil mad scientist or

����d) raised by wolves

����Really, these are the only possible and logical explanations for such far fetched and misguided opinions.

����Look, I can be broad-minded about this. I can see how Paul's baby face would suck some folks in, I can. And sure, John is fascinating if you like them confused, militant and creative. If you go for mystical, hey George would probably appeal to you.

����But people, these are just shallow infatuations, they're Not The Real Thing.

����If you want to love the RIGHT Beatle, if you want something that will last, then you love the funny, self-deprecating one, Ringo.

����You may want to write this vital fact down and store it in a safe place.

����I mean, you NEVER know when you might be in a car accident and reprogrammed by evil mad scientists, eh.

--Marn

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She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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