We're having friends up for supper tonight so on a whim I got out my grandmother's dishes.

It's kind of a hassle to do this because they're seldom used and get dusty in the cupboard, so I have to wash them before a dinner party. Then after they're used, they have to be hand washed again because they're fragile bone china with masses of gold leaf on them.

These eighty-year-old dishes are a pain in the butt, frankly, but I love them because four generations of my family have celebrated special events on them--my grandparents, my father, me, and my daughter.

These are the dishes my grandmother got when she married, they were the ones used in her home every Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas and for special times like christenings. Some of the cups and saucers are worn, the gold leaf faded, because these were the ones Nanny brought out when she had company for tea.

"Welcome, sit down; let's gab, eat, and celebrate how good life can be." When I look at those dishes that's what comes to my mind. Stupid, huh?

Paul volunteered to wash them while I did the floors and we gabbed about little bits of our past week as we did our chores.

This is the best part of being married for me--the fact that I have someone in my life with whom to share. We've been together since '71, married in '74, so when he tells me about his day, I can fit that into almost 30 years of days and he can do the same with me.

We've seen each other at our best, at our absolute worst, and everything in between. We get cranky, we make each other crazy at times, we fight, and we can each throw some major league snits. But even you know what? We have learned to forgive each other's stupidities and help each other through the rough patches.

We still make each other laugh and we still have things to say.

Que you're right, marriage is complicated, and in some ways it's almost a business transaction because it IS a partnership for life. You CAN get bogged down in trying to fit things into Martha Stewart's handy dandy upwardly mobile template, if you want to. But you don't have to, eh.

I have a friend who is 80, who's had three marriages. Only the last one was happy, and soon it will have lasted 50 years.

He said to me once that marriage is the longest conversation two people will ever have, so pick someone you can talk to and the rest of it will sort itself out. Makes sense to me, but then what do I know?

I have to go, I have six people to feed tonight.