Okay, WHO FARTLEKED IN HERE?

Oh. Wait. It was me.

Nevermind.

Fartlek. Heeeeeeeeee. Everytime I say the word I crack myself up. I pretend it's the Swedish euphemism for uh tooting, letting one rip, cutting the cheese, playing the butt trumpet, firing the retro-rocket, or, to use my all time favourite euphemism for flatulence (*insert drum roll here*)

Performing The Uncorked Symphony.

Sadly, fartlek is none of the above.

Fartlek literally translates to speed play and it's kind of like running intervals only it's crueler. See, with intervals you do set bits of running. Run three minutes, walk one, run three minutes, walk one, for instance. But with fartlek you push yourself hard, back off until your heart rate drops to normal and then push yourself again.

In other words, you willingly throw yourself against a wall, take a break, and then throw yourself against the wall again. This morning I did this of my own free will for 30 minutes with a 10 minute warm up and a 10 minute cool down tacked on to either side of the fartlek.

This, my friends, is pitting your mind against your body (or in my case a rather dim set of wits against an aging carcass). See, the thing is that once you get your heart rate back to normal after that first hard push, life is almost sweet. You can just serenely motor along. The body likes this. There is no pounding heart, no burning, fatigued muscles. There is enormous temptation to enjoy the break longer than you should.

After all, the body is in its Happy Place. It does not want to leave its Happy Place. The mind must bitch slap it out the door of the Happy Place and back up the hill of Lactic Acid Pain and Suffering. Then the mind lets the body rest. Until it feels good. Then the mind again manhandles the whimpering body out the door of the Happy Place to a cruel, cruel world.

I would be lying if I didn't say that while I was doing it, fartlek sapped my will to live.

But when it was done? Oh, man, my whole body was just humming. I had the same feeling I get after my final set of squats, when I put that 140 pounds back on the rack. I have to tell you, the urge to pound my chest and make territorial gorilla sounds is very, very hard to resist. I know. The epitome of feminity.

I didn't run at all yesterday because my left knee was softly whispering a mild complaint. You know, I will blithely ignore my muscles screaming at me from aches because aches are transitory. But if I feel even the slightest twinge of bona fide pain in a joint, then I cease and desist from whatever I was doing that caused it.

Muscles are mostly whiners and con artists, but joints, joints you don't ignore. I'm especially kind to that knee because I tore ligaments in it in my 30's and it's already known the "joy" of surgery. I never, ever want to go through that again.

It's an interesting thing, testing your limits. The art of it is to come very close to the edge of the cliff without actually tumbling over. I'm very close to that place now. The temptation is to push a little harder, to work through the pain. But even you know what?

I only have a month left now until the Jog for the Jugs. If I injure myself, that might not be enough time for someone of my august years to heal.

My knee is still a teensy bit tender, so I'm not going to run this weekend at all. This puts my dreams of speed that much further out of reach, but keeps the dream of running the race securely in place.

I wanted to fly. I may just have to settle for a gentle run. Only time will tell.

--Marn

There's no new inductee into the Bazonga Boosters Hall o' Fame, today no one decided to spend some of their hard-earned buckazoids supporting me as I run the Jog for the Jugs Oct. 5 in Montreal.

No one new can proudly sport the shoddily Photoshopped yet justly coveted red rectangle below. *Siiiiiggggghhhh*

P.P.S.- That iron woman, Karen is doing an unbelievable 60 MILE WALK FOR BREAST CANCER! If you don't want to sponsor me, perhaps you'd want to sponsor her. Yowza, that makes that 5K Jog for the Jugs seem embarrassingly short.

Mileage on the Marnometer: 412.29 miles (663.5 kilometers)

Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers