2000-10-24
Dear Diary:

    Today I got an offer in my e-mail to enlarge my penis. You can imagine how depressed this left me, just another reminder that I don't have a penis of my own and all.

    My spousal unit, warm, giving human being that he is, is good about sharing his and will let me play with it any time I want. Pretty darned decent of him, when you think about it.

    But it's just not the same as having your own penis, you know?

    I've often thought it would be grand to be given a penis for a day. First off, you could hop out of bed in the morning and do your imitation of a compass--swing around until you're pointing north, and I do mean pointing, eh. That would be fun.

    Then there's that cool standing up to pee and AIMING business. PLUS you get to shake it afterwards. I'm thinking it might be nice to have closure when you're done peeing. We women just don't get the same experience, you know?

    Then you've got the magic wand aspect of it ... pass your hand over it a few times and abracadabra, it grows. Take a really cold shower and you can do your imitation of an inch worm.

    And as if THAT wasn't enough fun, you can put a pair of sunglasses on top of it and take goofy pictures. Then if you want to be really stylin' you can go for coloured condoms or even rubbers that glow in the dark!

    Genitalia that you can dress up--really, penises are the Barbies of pee pees.

    It would be fun for a day but come sundown I wouldn't have qualms about giving it back.

    Why? Well, two little words separate the boys from the girls:

    Multiple orgasms.

    All together now, hum along with me, ladies:

    "I enjoy being a girl ..."

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


Subscribe with Bloglines


Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


.:Cast:. .:Diaryland Notes:. .:Comments (0 so far):. .:E-mail:.
.:Adventures In Oz:.
.:12% Beer:. .:Links:. .:Host:. .:Archives:.

Cavort, cavort, my kingdom for a cavort Globe of Blogs 12 Per Cent Beer my partners in crime


A button for random, senseless, drive-by linkings:
Blogroll Me!


< ? blogs by women # >
Bloggers over forty + ?
<< | BlogCanada | >>
[ << ? Verbosity # >> ]
<< x Blog x Philes x >>


This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine.

Kids, don't try viewing this at home without Netscape 6 or IE 4.5+, a screen resolution of 800 X 600 and the font Mead Bold firmly ensconced on your hard drive.

�2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.