The crack engineering staff at MarnCo Labs, a wholly owned subsidiary of MarnCo (the ruthless multinational behind The Big Adventure) spent the entire weekend endless hours minutes upon minutes working on improving the MarnCo Assisted Pull-up Machine �.

Because we care. Not so much for the three loyal readers (none of whom would be stupid enough to actually use Version 1 of the MarnCo Assisted Pull-up Machine�) but because we do care for this Marn person, who was stupid enough to use this death trap.

As you can see from this photograph, Version 1 of the MarnCo Assisted Pull-up Machine� was somewhat dangerous. Just slipping a bent leg into an elastic loop did not give much stability. With no way to fix the loop in place on the leg, the odds of slipping off and someone getting a major owie were pretty steep. Or, as our marketing department described it:

So, to make the machine a little less dangerous, the crack engineering staff a.k.a. The Spousal Unit cut a piece of 1" x 8" pine to a length of 20", made two grooved notches on each end to hold the bungee cord-like resistance bands in place, and then affixed turnbuckles by each notch which could be twisted over the resistance bands once they were in the notch, thus ensuring they didn't slip out.

I think that we can all agree that this kind of engineering does not happen all the time. I'm expecting a call from NASA any minute.

You might think that's high tech enough, but you would be very, very wrong. As a final act of kindness, a pad of 2" thick blue Styrofoam insulation was glued to the top of the board to cushion the shins of whoever used The MarnCo Pull-up Machine, Version 2�. Oh yes, no pile of left over construction materials was left unplundered expense was spared. The whole shebang is very light, as befits such a marvel of space age technology.

I was a bit concerned about how such a complex device might be received at the American border, but fortunately today's guard knows me personally. He is quite aware that while I might be crazy, I am only a danger to myself. He waved The MarnCo Assisted Pull-up Machine, Version 2� into the United States without a problem.

This meant that Hurdle One (exporting cutting edge technology into the United States) was conquered, leaving Hurdle Two�would the thing actually work?

A picture is worth 1,000 words. Yep, that would be me doing the pull-up with my trainer there on the right of the picture wondering how she ever came to be mixed up with such a mad woman.

Doing negatives (hopping up to the pull-up handles from a high bench and slowly lowering my body using a 10 count) would have eventually built the muscles I need to do a pull-up. The MarnCo Assisted Pull-up Machine, Version 2� will just speed up the process a bit.

I hope.

I've set myself the goal to make at least one independent pull-up by my 54th birthday on May 22. Wish me luck, 'cuz I think I'm gonna need it.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 255.74 miles. Double Duckage. My joy knows no bounds.