Well, the plant sales started today.

I did the sane thing and stripped all my credit cards out of my wallet before I headed out the door with a limited amount of cash. I figure there's no need to plunge us into catastrophic debt at this point in our lives, right?

I think we can all agree I might as well save the thrill of eating cat food for our golden years.

After all, we all need something to look forward to.

I motored out to the big Canadian Tire store first because they were having an unbelievable 75 per cent off sale of their perennials. (And really, doesn't a store with the name "Canadian Tire" just make the image of plants leap into your mind? My thoughts, exactly.)

Never have the words "you get what you pay for" ever rung more true. When I got there I realized they'd marked them down that hard because the plants were 75 per cent dead. There was startling amounts of pining for the fjords happening there, let me tell you.

Most of these poor pitiful critters had not seen a watering can in far, far too long. I did find some nice bits of green goodness, but it took some very careful hunting and gathering.

I know. You're on the edge of your seat, your whole body quivering with anticipation, trying to guess what I might have purchased.

Are you sitting down?

Here goes: I managed to score some pink asiatic lilies, some white japanese anemone and a buttload of a hosta called 'Golden Tiara' all in 6 inch pots, and all for $2 each! Don't bargains like that take your breath away?

Oh, let's stop the charade. I know my three loyal readers don't give a rat's rump about any of this, but frankly I am so giddy with happiness I Just Have To Share.

The only problem was that having paid $2 for plants regularly priced in the $8 range, a mere 50 per cent off no longer seemed acceptable to me. So I visited another three nurseries AND DIDN'T BUY A FREAKING THING.

I actually came home with money in my wallet. I am as upset by this sorry state of affairs as you are, eh.

Fortunately, this is but the beginning of the sales. As the summer wears on, more things will be knocked down and the discounts steeper.

I have not yet begun to shop.

And, thanks to what I did buy, I now own enough hosta to be officially crowned The Hosta Queen Of The World.

You have my solemn promise right here right now that I will only use my powers for good.

--Marn