Friday, Jul. 05, 2002
Dear Diary:

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have an addiction, so here goes.

Hello, my name is Marn, and I am addicted to iced tea.

I've been telling myself that it's not really a problem, that it's just a reaction to the heat wave we've been enduring for the last few weeks, eh. I was convinced that once the weather changed I would stop drinking the iced tea and never look back.

But that weather broke today.

I've already had three big mugs of iced tea.

Three. Big. MUGS. You do the math.

MUGS.

Oh yeah, I thought I could hide my problem by changing the size of the glass, sneakily going from the small glasses we usually use to the big glass beer steins we bought years ago. That way I Could Fill My Dark Need AND tell myself that it was only three glasses of iced tea and how bad could that be for you anyhow?

Well, if the glasses are large enough to hide a nuclear sub, it could be considered pretty bad. I get any more caffeine in my system today and I'll make the RoadRunner look like Sleeping Beauty. Even *I* can see I Have A Problem.

I don't think I'm at the point where I need an intervention, but I'm thinking some adult supervision may be necessary.

If I can find someone who's willing so sit in my kitchen 24/7 armed, and with a megaphone, I figure I can get this thing licked in a few weeks. Yep, the way I envision it, every time I go near the little container of evil iced tea powder the Megaphone Person would leap into action and:

*Insert annoying static and feedback sounds here as megaphone is turned on*

"Marn, get your hands up. Back away slowly from the evil iced tea powder and nobody gets hurt."

Oh yeah, a few weeks of that and I should be clean of the iced tea jones.

It seems the most mature way to handle this, don't you think?

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine.

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2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.