So yesterday the spousal unit sprang out of bed -- nekkid, he being a guy who sleeps in his birthday suit -- ran downstairs and then tore out into our yard waving his arms and yelling.
I would like to state for the record that it had nothing to do with my cooking.
Not this time, anyhow.
No, it had everything to do with Another Woman, a beauty I have christened Maybelline because, in the words of the immortal Chuck Berry, she's started back doing that thing she used to do ...
Which would be treating my beloved gardens as Marn's All U Can Eat Exotic Plant Buffet.
Paul spotted her through our bedroom window happily munching on my astilbe when he woke up, so throwing modesty (among other things) to the wind he rocketed outside to put a stop to that bit of nonsense.
Good thing we live in the middle of the woods, huh? (Although, since it's been about 25 years since I've lived in a city, for all I know every morning nekkid men run out in their suburban yards, waving their arms and yelling, eh.)
Did I tell you I've decided to research this subject carefully this fall 'cuz I'll be spending some time in the 'burbs of Sydney? Expect a full report -- and pictures -- if I find nekkid men yelling, waving their arms, and running around their yards in Australia.
Hey, this isn't going to be just a vacation, this is going to be serious anthropological research. After all, MarnCo, the multinational behind The Big Adventure, believes in delivering value for Your Consumer Dollar.
Oh, wait, Diaryland is free which means this is worth …
Oh dear, all this value for your consumer dollar and nudity in the 'burbs speculation has me off track yet again. I KNOW I had a point here ….
Oh yeah, deer and gardens, I was talking about deer and gardens.
I guess this is the part where I have to admit that part of the blame for Maybelline's reappearance in my life lies with me.
I got cocky.
Hadn't seen a deer in eons, so I got a little casual about spreading the "no deer" around the property, hadn't been resprinkling after every rain.
My roses have paid dearly for my slackitude. If you look closely at this picture, you'll see they have hardly any leaves. Yep, it appears Maybelline has a thing for roses, or their leaves, anyhow. Too bad she can't find some young buck to shower her with roses so she can leave MY plants alone.
* Sigh. *
Oh well, one good thing did come out of this.
I now have pictures of the spousal unit, wedding tackle bobbing in the wind, chasing Another Woman around the yard.
Too bad I was laughing so hard that none of them are quite in focus.
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
.:Adventures In Oz:.
.:12% Beer:. .:Links:. .:Host:. .:Archives:.
This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine. Kids, don't try viewing this at home without Netscape 6 or IE 4.5+, a screen resolution of 800 X 600 and the font Mead Bold firmly ensconced on your hard drive.
©2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.