Sunday, Jul. 21, 2002
There's a word used to describe a man foolish enough to utter the words "I told you so" to the woman he loves.
That word, of course, would be celibate.
This, in turn, brings us to The Great Flower Box Controversy.
As my three loyal readers might recall, this spring for the very first time a flower box was installed under my kitchen window. It is the home of some rather moody geraniums who have decided to let bygones be bygones and started to bloom.
This would all be well and good except for the fact that you can barely see them. The golden glow, a plant that lives in front of them, has grown to freakish heights this year because of the rains of biblical proportions and pretty much obscures the flower box now.
I cannot begin to describe my annoyance over this situation.
It's bad enough that you can't SEE the geraniums. The major problem, as far as I'm concerned, is that back in the early summer when I bought the flower box the spousal unit hesitated to install it under the kitchen window. He claimed we wouldn't see it for the golden glow.
I, of course, pooh poohed this nonsense, stressed that the golden glow had NEVER come near those heights, and his concerns were completely unfounded.
And then, for the first time in recorded history, today the freaking golden glow attained heights heretofore unknown.
It is, in fact, obscuring the flower box.
I can tell the spousal unit feels this makes him right and me wrong, which is completely ludicrous. As we all know, a woman is NEVER wrong. It's one of those laws of physics. I think it might be the "e" in e=mc2.
And frankly, as I see it, I'm not really wrong. My feeling is that because the rains of biblical proportions were a freak of nature, I should just be considered somewhat less right than I normally would be.
Yep, I think we can all agree this is simply a case of the universe not unfolding as it should. Sadly, being a man and all, he is simply too obtuse to see the true situation here.
One thing the spousal unit has learned over 28 years plus of marriage is to never, ever utter the words "I told you so". He HAS made the connection between those words and abrupt cessation of marital duties for indeterminate durations. However, he did want to gloat a bit.
"Well, will you look at that golden glow," he said as we went in the house for lunch today.
I pointedly ignored him.
"Boy, it must be over seven feet this year."
I shot him a look that would strike knee melting terror into a lesser man. He only laughed. He knew I had felt his gloating and been stung.
Want to know the worst part? I have to walk past that freaking golden glow every time I go in or out of the house. I am pretty much positive that today was just the tip of the gloating iceberg.
I'm sure you can feel my horror at this prospect.
You know, I'm passionate about my flowers and most years it breaks my heart to have the first heavy frost come and scythe my garden. Not this year.
Hey, as long at it takes out the golden glow my attitude is Bring It On.
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
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