I should never be allowed to go to my gym without adult supervision.

Today being a holiday in the U.S. and all, there were all sorts of people in my gym I don't normally see. Among them was a woman just a bit younger than I am, who was throwing around some really serious metal.

I kept trying to keep my eyes averted from her workout, to tell myself that this is NOT a competition, but something washes over me when I hit the gym. I think it might be the testosterone fumes. Whatever it is, I found myself wanting to heave around AT LEAST as much metal as she was.

She saw me watching her. She was doing an exercise I've never tried before.

"I've never done that," I commented casually.

"Oh, it's really good for getting rid of that little bulge under the bra strap," she said. "C'mon, try it."

I'm not sure if it was my Inner Gorilla or my Inner Lemming that made me leave the bench press and mosey over to where she was.

I told myself that exercise must be a piece of cake. After all, she had made it look effortless.

I assumed the position, gave an experimental tug on the handle and nothing budged. Nothing. It felt as if someone had crazy glued that thing to the rug when I wasn't looking. I redoubled my efforts. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Rien.

She Took The Weight Off. She put on a little, sissy ten pound weight. That I could lift. With effort.

"Don't worry," she said in her best encouraging teacher's voice. "Someday you'll be doing 35 pounds."

Oh, the pain. Oh, the humiliation.

Chastened, I finished my workout which included 85 pound squats and 325 pounds on the leg press machine. Both these exercises put heavy demands on the buttal region.

What I hadn't realized was that the exercise the teacher had been doing also put significant demands on the buttal region.

I know that now. Oh, man, but I know that now.

Today I developed a new, valuable life skill.

Did I learn to be a little less competitive in the gym?

Oh, puh-LEESE, like that's going to happen.

No, today I learned that it is not necessary to sit in a chair and that it's quite possible to type while on my knees if I just adjust the height of my keyboard.

Comfortable?

Um no.

But possible, well, yes.

--Marn

P.S.--I would like to thank whoever it was who nominated me for a Diarist Award for Best Account of a Public or News Event. I was very surprised and honoured.

Both entries in my category are better than mine. That's not false modesty, it's the truth. But it's an honour to be nominated and I'm touched that someone did.

Now, go, scoot, and read all the nominees in all the categories. You won't regret it; there's some amazingly good writing there. If you keep an on-line diary or journal you have the right to vote and acknowledge the writing. Cool, eh?

Mileage on the Marnometer: 92.35 miles (148.6 kilometers)
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers