Well, now that Daylight Savings Time has rolled around yet again, the clock in the Marnmobile tells the correct time. Yes, I am so lazy that I didn't bother to adjust my car's clock last fall when the time changed.

I'm an inspiration to sloths everywhere.

Last night the spousal unit and I vowed that this year we would take the time change in stride. Before we went to bed we set the clocks forward the requisite hour and left our alarm set at 7 a.m. That meant that as far as our bodies were concerned we would be getting up Stupidly Early.

We promised each other We Would Tough It Out.

The kitchen clock said 9:35 when I passed it, after finally managing to struggle out from under the cozy warmth of a bed layered with two purring cats. The spousal unit was looking all smug and superior because he'd managed to get up an hour earlier.

Drat.

I'm blaming the fact that I severely overslept on the cats. Everyone knows that a purring cat emits sleep inducing waves. Really, I didn't have a chance.

After careful consideration, I have also decided there is just one solution to the problem of adapting to the time change. I won't adapt. The rest of you will just have to adapt to me.

I am hereby declaring Marn Standard Time. It will take me a while to map the boundaries of the Marn Standard Time Zone and I'll get back to you when I have worked it out.

I have precedent in my favour here. Heck, it was a fellow Canuckian, Sanford Fleming, who originally came up with the idea of standard time and time zones. Before that, every place ran on its own time, based on when high noon occurred. Since the boundaries for time zones are fairly arbitrary, I don't see why I can't carve my own out.

So I am.

I've been having quite a few time-related problems lately. (Yes, I am Obi Wan Kenobi's older sister, Obi Wan DeSegue--"Luke, use the theme".) It has to do with calendars.

See, when we came back from Australia we brought back a very spiffy calendar with an Australian Aboriginal art theme. So we didn't bother picking up any of the kazillion free calendars that were floating around late last year because hey, we already had a calendar, right?

Well, the problem here is that our calendar fills us in on such facts as Jan. 9 was Devonport Cup Day in Tasmania, Labour Day was March 4 in Western Australia, March 11 in Victoria and Term 2 will begin in Queensland schools on April 9.

This is all well and good, but We Live In Freaking Canada. This calendar does not breathe a word about Canadian holidays, which of course makes perfect sense Since It Is An Australian Calendar. This is something we should have foreseen if either of us had a smidge of foresight.

The spousal unit and I can be embarrassingly cheap about some things and one of these things is calendars. So while we were happy to buy a lovely Australian calendar because it would be a memento of a special experience, neither of us could bear to fork out money for a Canadian calendar because They Are Supposed To Be Free.

So we probably would have spent the rest of this year completely in the dark about Canadian holidays if it wasn't for an lovely bit of happenstance.

My friend, Anne, knows my spousal unit has a thing about hand planes. Not only does Lee Valley make some incredible ones, the company also has a big collection of antique beauties. While she was poking through their store in Ottawa, she found one of their calendars. Anne picked it up and sent it to us because each month it features an exquisite tool, and many of the tools chosen were hand planes.

What are the odds? We got a calendar that shows Canadian holidays, our innate cheapness was assuaged, and Said Calendar Even Has Tool Porn for the spousal unit!

The only fly in the ointment? Well, there's the dealie with Marn Standard Time to work out, of course. There will be further bulletins as events progress.

--Marn