Wednesday, May. 01, 2002
Dear Diary:

El President materialized on my ICQ screen, as he is wont to do from time to time. I'd mentioned a while back that May is International Masturbation Month and I'd begged him to make me some banners.

I mean, if there's an event that cries out for banners, I think we can all agree it's International Masturbation Month, right?

"I have banners for yooooooooooou!" he messaged. "I threw in some of my own ideas. There are 8 total, I know you said no graphics were necessary but ... :) Feel free to use any of them you like. Are you busy? Can I send them now?"

"I am NEVER too busy for anything involving masturbation," I messaged back. "I said that with a straight face, too :)"

"LMAO... okay, here they, uh... come. Damn unintentional puns," he teased.

Feel free to grab any of the goodness below. Some are um, er, ah more adult than others, and there is monkey spanking mentioned in one which is soooooo against everything The Legion of Twelve Percent Beer stands for, but, well, I'm an ecumenical woman it's only fair to let El President express his views, too, eh.

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation Month

May. Eight more reasons to love the month, eh.

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine.

Kids, don't try viewing this at home without Netscape 6 or IE 4.5+, a screen resolution of 800 X 600 and the font Mead Bold firmly ensconced on your hard drive.

2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.