Friday, Oct. 17, 2003
Dear Diary:

My new workout has introduced me to my new most favourite exercise in the world -- the cable crossover. It makes me feel like Marn-Ra, Warrior Princess.

Check out the video of how it's done. Is that not cool or what?

Somehow, it reminds me of all those old Samson or Hercules type movies where the hero's tied to these huge pillars and he manages to pull the buildings down through his insane strength. Not that I would ever fantasize about me doing something like that when I do my cable crossovers.

No. Not me. Not ever.

Sometimes even I have to admit that the words Rich Inner Life barely cover it.

Oh, and I'm also using the Pec Deck now. This is the small cluster of machines the guys use to work on their pecs (which are basically their man boobs). Oddly enough, you don't want to be saying the words, "Hey, nice man boobs" to a serious weightlifter. Serious weightlifters do not want to hear the words "man boobs" used to describe their pecs.

Don't ask me how I know that, I just do.

Fortunately, all the weightlifting guys know me fairly well now and they tend to see me as this looney tunes charmingly eccentric older woman. I am allowed a wide range of social gaffes because of my gender and advanced years. Of course, I would never take advantage of this situation for my own amusement, just to see how far I can go.

No. Not me. Not ever.

So I would never, ever pretend that I can't remember the word "pecs" and continue to say "man boobs".

Tee hee.

Oh, and in other exciting gym-related news, a week ago I started to take creatine a fact that has the spousal unit rolling his eyes and muttering things such as, "What's next? Steroids?". I, of course, roll my eyes back at him and tell him I'd never do anything as stupid as steroids.

I've been very curious about creatine because most of the male weightlifters at my gym use it and a lot of the fitness magazines I read mention it--the Canadian women's soccer team uses it as part of their training regime, for example.

I read the first ten Google hits for creatine on-line, decided it would be safe as long as I did a periodic washout (after three months of use discontinue it for a month so that my body's natural ability to create its own creatine wasn't affected). So I ordered three months' worth.

And right after I ordered three months' worth I decided to read Google hits 20-50 just to see what else I could learn about creatine. That's when I read that creatine gives some women bloating, water retention, diarrhea and oh, how to put this delicately, methane issues.

WHY DIDN'T GOOGLE HITS 1-10 MENTION THIS? HUH?? HUH???

Fine.

Well, I just finished my week of creatine loading, taking a high dose to saturate my muscles, and so far I haven't had any of the possible side effects that were cunningly hidden between Google hits 20-50.

I think we can all well imagine the spousal unit's relief. It's hard enough to be sleeping with a menopausal woman who breaks out in occasional night sweats and buries you in blankets so that you get night sweats, too. Imagine the horror of sleeping with a menopausal woman who breaks out in occasional night sweats, is bloated, suffers from diarrhea and/or methane issues?

All I can say is that it's a good thing that we were young when we took our marriage vows, unable to imagine just how much the words "for better or for worse" might have to encompass.

So far I haven't noticed any amazing strength or stamina increases from the creatine, but then in that same week I began a completely new workout routine so I don't have any real benchmarks to use yet. In the meantime, I plan to continue to drive the spousal unit crazy by flexing my biceps at odd times and demanding that he feel my muscle and let me know if he can feel any change.

For better or for worse.

Poor guy really didn't have a glimmer of what he let himself in for when he made me that promise.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 465.37 miles (748.9 kilometers)
Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Half way smoochTen percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.Ten percent there rubber duck.
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers

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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine.

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