2001-01-31
Dear Diary:

The gauntlet has been tossed, the challenge issued and I have risen from my sickbed to reply.

It could be ugly. There may be tears.

Yep, the Dutch Menace has again reared its ugly head. Red Moose and his teamates at Betronic Design have issued a SETI challenge to the incredibly cute yet deeply feared Team Newkirk.

It started about numbers but now it's gotten personal.

It's about more than the search for another civilization out there in space.

It's about more than crushing the warmongering, power-crazed, world SETI@home domination-obsessed Dutch.

It's about mascots.

It's about Mortimer Moose of the Mounted Police, eh, the new mascot of Team Newkirk.

Mortimer Moose of the Mounted.  It doesn't get much more Canuckian than this.

If the incredibly cute yet deeply feared Team Newkirk manages to end up with more SETI units than Team Betronic Design (boo, hiss) the first time the folks at SETI update results on or after March 1, we get the as yet unidentified Betronic mascot.

If Team Betronic Design (boo, hiss) ends up with more SETI units on that date, then Mortimer Moose has to go to The Netherlands.

As of last SETI update, Team Betronic has posted 24,030 results, to Team Newkirk's 21,987 results, giving them a lead of 2,043 units.

Take a good look at Mortimer. How long do you think he would survive in a tiny country such as The Netherlands?

Huh?

HUH?

Are you the kind of person who would leave a small, defenceless moose to twist in the wind?

Are you?

ARE YOU?

Look, there are lots of good reasons to mosey over to the SETI homepage, download their screensaver, and install it on your machine.

Each time your computer goes idle, instead of scrolling useless images across its screen, the SETI screensaver kicks in and analyses little snippets of radio waves. It looks for signs that other civilizations are out there, shows you images of how your sample looks.

You become part of the world's largest computing project ever, a project that embodies some of our best qualities as a species--our curiosity, and our altruism. SETI asks the question, "Hello? Anybody out there?" People who join SETI volunteer the empty time their computers would normally spend running a useless screensaver to instead look for the answer to this question.

Become a member of the incredibly cute, yet deeply feared SETI team Team Newkirk and you also help stem the rising tide of The Dutch Menace.

Both my long term readers know The Truth About The Dutch. Oh yes, the Dutch WANT you to think they're a gentle, peaceful people, all about tulips, wooden shoes, dikes, chocolate and legalized marijuana. Oh pish and tosh, I say, pish and tosh. It's all smoke and mirrors.

The Dutch are actually power-crazed warmongers, bent on world SETI domination. They are everywhere in SETI and They Must Be Stopped.

So yep, there's several pretty good reasons to become a member of SETI, eh, and maybe even a member of Team Newkirk as well.

But in the end, there is only one truly GREAT reason to join SETI and the incredibly cute yet deeply feared Team Newkirk.

Do It For The Moose.

--Marn
P.S.-- NEWS BULLETIN -- This just in:


SETI@home

There has been an outpouring of sympathy for the plight of one small moose and Paul of Rilting fame has even made a button for the Do It For The Moose Campaign. Here's where the instructions are on how to get it.

Mortimer is too verklempt to speak, but sends warm, wet moosie smooches to all members of Team Newkirk and thanks you all for your support.

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine.

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2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.