We have a serial killer.
In the early hours of the morning, while the family slept, there was a murder out at the birdfeeders. Mortimer of the Mounted got right on the case.
You can imagine my relief, eh.
By the feathers left behind at the scene of the crime, Mortimer deduced that the victim was a mourning dove. A careful scan of the area did not reveal any footprints of the feline sort, so Mortimer ruled out our cats, Zoe and Zubby. They were both ticked off that they were even considered suspects since they had been in the house at the time, but Mortimer is a thorough investigator.
Mortimer interviewed friends of the deceased, who said her name was Lola.
She was a showgirl,
With yellow feathers in her hair
And a dress cut down to there.
There was no mention made if she could merengue and do the cha cha.
Naturally reluctant to stand at the actual scene of the crime, they stood above Mortimer and shouted their answers to him, which probably saved their lives. They were right in the middle of giving a detailed description of Lola's assailant when ...
To my shock and horror, the killer actually swooped down while I was photographing the interview for posterity and tried to kill the witnesses to his crime. Was He Mad? Did he not realize that Mortimer of the Mounted was Right There?
We'll never know what thoughts passed through the killer's mind because he only paused momentarily above Mortimer before taking off again into the woods.
Mortimer has issued an all points bulletin with a detailed description of the this heartless fiend. Will the Mountie get his man?
There will be further bulletins as events progress.
And we WILL return you to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow, eh. No. Really. I promise.
There has been an outpouring of sympathy for the plight of one small moose. The incredibly cute and deeply talented Paul of Rilting fame has even made a button for the Do It For The Moose Campaign.
Here's where the instructions are on how to get it.
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
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