Dear Diary:

Still no word from the little green men. Just dumped my 400th SETI@home result (search for extraterrestrial intelligence) off to Berkeley, and not a peep from the freakin' aliens.

I'm getting a bit ticked off about this, as you can well imagine.

All I'm getting from whoever might be out there in space is nothing but static. Hey, if I wanted static, all I'd have to do is try to get my cats to do something productive such as ... oh I don't know ... MAYBE CATCH A MOUSE OR TWO TO JUSTIFY THEIR EXISTENCE IN MY LIFE?

Forgive me. Let's put this down to holiday stress, okay? Now where was I?

I love the SETI program. Part of it appeals to my tilt a windmills side, the part of me that looks up into the immensity of a night sky and hopes against hope that a radio telescope here on earth somehow will be aimed at the one pinpoint in the universe where someone left us a message.

Another part of it appeals to the wildly competitive side of me. (Hey, I was raised in a country where the national sport is big sweaty guys racing up and down the ice chasing a small bit of frozen rubber and beating on each other with sticks. We Canadians are a quiet people, but you don't want to get between us and a puck, eh.)

And because SETI was set up by geeks, you get both facets in full measure.

Join SETI and you get a cool screen saver. Then, in the moments when your computer would normally be buffing it's nails, instead it analyzes small packets of radio waves, looking for signs of intelligent life.

So far, so idealistic, huh?

SETI is also set up so you can see how you measure up against other people and/or teams. They show you their .:ahem:. units .:ahem:. and you show them yours. There are A LOT of size queens out there in the SETI world, eh. Not only do they want to know how big your unit is, they also want to know how many times you can do it in a day, so the time it takes you to get your unit up is carefully measured.

Not to brag or anything, but I can get it up just over twice a day. I had a glimmer of what it might be to feel studly and all until my geeky friend Denny threw a 1 GHz processor into his machine, and now he can get it up six times a day. I bow before his prowess.

Right now my SETI team, the incredibly cute yet deeply feared Team Newkirk, is at 136 in the world SETI rankings, right on the butts of our hated rivals The Dutch. (Oh yeah, the Dutch WANT you to think they're a peaceful, gentle people, all about chocolate, wooden shoes and legalized marijuana. HAH. I can tell you it's all a fraud. Take it from me, they're power-crazed SETI hooligans.)

There was a point where we had slipped to 15 places behind them, and things were looking dark indeed, but then some white knights from Diaryland recently joined Team Newkirk. (Thank you Bologna 36, Liad, Nevarren, Donny, and Waterlily--'preciate it, eh.)

Paired with other diary readers such as Karl-T, Boko Dasu, Wageslave54 and Xombii in the wonder that is Team Newkirk, our relentless march towards World SETI Domination continues to gather momentum.

We Will Crush The Dutch, it's just a matter to time.

And then?

Team HTC, we're looking to spread a can of whup on your butts.



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She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -

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