2001-01-27
Dear Diary:

Well this is it. Today is the day that I uploaded my 500th result to the SETI@home program, the volunteer program to look for signs of extra-terrestrial life.

Now this is kind of a big deal for me, a pretty big milestone. If I was an alien, and I heard that someone had donated 5,393 hours and 18 minutes of computer time studying 500 pieces of radio waves to look for me, well, I would say a little something to that person, you know?

Helllooooo.  Anybody out there?.. I'm not asking for much. A simple, "Way to go, eh" would be ample. But have I heard from any aliens yet?

Nope. Not a freakin' peep. What kind of people are they, anyhow, huh? Didn't their moms teach them ANY manners?

Sheesh.

But you know, the day's not over yet. Um, maybe they were delayed in traffic. Maybe they didn't have the right change for the payphone. I've decided not to give up hope yet.

You can really, really tell the SETI program was set up by geeks because it churns out every kind of statistic that might interest you.

I looked myself up and here's some of the stats it gave me:

Your rank out of 2,710,393 total users is: 114,642nd place. The total number of users who have this rank: 295. You have completed more work units than: 95.759% of our users.

Helllooooooo. Really, the URL should be Geeks R Us and not http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/. Frankly, they're not fooling anyone with that URL.

I figured I wasn't the only person sharing this big 500 unit milestone, so I moseyed over to the page where they show who's recently got it up 500 times to see who's got my kind of stamina.

I'm reading down the list, opening the web pages of thems who have them, and I come to the name "Red Moose."

Okay. Let's pause here. Everybody who thinks that someone who uses the handle Red Moose would be a Canuckian like me, put up their hands.

Eggzackly.

Me too.

So I open Red Moose's page and what do I see?

He comes from The Evil Empire. RED MOOSE IS DUTCH!!!

Imagine my horror.

One moment I'm quietly enjoying the thought that my contribution to Team Newkirk is helping to crush the Dutch SETI menace, and the next moment I find there's a Dutch guy who likes techno music and who's keeping pace with me.

Arrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh.

Some days you feel that you just can't win.

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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