Friday, Jan. 31, 2003
Dear Diary:

For the first time in about a bazillion years the thermometer has not only gone above -20C (0F) but heck, it has even gone above freezing. Ferociously blue skies, warm sun, the promise that one day spring will come ... I'm telling you, I was pretty much giddy with happiness as I motored down to the border.

So this young border guard came out and we began to play 20 questions, the international version. I told him I was going to the gym. He studied me closely. He remembered seeing me there during one of his workouts, relaxed, grinned and told me I was free to go.

"You have a good workout, ma'am," he said.

MA'AM.

HE FREAKIN' MA'AMED ME!

While yes, I know that technically I am older than dirt, I've always considered the word "ma'am" a word you only use to address senior citizens of the non-tripod persuasion. To have that word applied to MY person immediately stripped me of all my giddy.

MA'AM.

Oh yes, it was bright and sunny outside but inside the Marnmobile, for the rest of the drive to the gym, It Was A Dark And Stormy Night. I muttered cruel things about young whippersnappers who obviously need glasses.

Fast forward to the gym. I channeled my outrage over my random, senseless, drive-by ma'aming into the elliptical machine, covering 2.5 miles in 35 minutes. I tell you what, that's some serious travelling. Hopped off in full endorphin buzz, feeling pretty darned chipper, and went into the stretching room to get limbered up for weight training.

There was an elderly woman in there doing a very slow hopping sort of exercise. She was the quintessential granny--tightly curled white hair, bifocals, and a baggy sweat suit in a pink so bright that staring directly at it would have caused permanent retinal damage. She proceeded to tell me she was 78, had had heart bypass surgery and she had to take it easy.

I got down on the mat and began to do my stretching. She watched my stretching routine with interest.

"Just not as limber when you get older," she noted companionably.

ARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

First I get ma'amed and THEN I have an actual ma'am point out my failing powers.

It has not been an easy day.

Tomorrow will be better, right?

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 58.57 miles (94.24 kilometers) Ten percent there rubber duck.
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers

Going Nowhere Collaboration

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine.

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