Sunday, Apr. 14, 2002
Dear Diary:

He's baaaaaaaack.

My three loyal readers may recall that a while back we had problems with a woodpecker using the tin roof of our house to drum on. Come spring and woodpecker breeding season, the little dickens would start pounding his pecker on our roof at dawn and often keep it up all day.

(Male woodpeckers find mates by pounding their peckers against things--he who makes the most noise is deemed the most studly, proving yet again that size DOES count when speaking about peckers.)

While being awakened at the crack of dawn each spring morning to throbbing woodpecker lust is one way to get adjusted to Daylight Savings Time, frankly, we were getting more than a little tired of the Pecker Challenge.

Happily, when we replaced the roof on our place a few years ago, the woodpecker was not at all pleased with the resonating properties of the new roof and left us alone. Until today.

Today the woodpecker found the piece of tin the spousal unit had nailed to a spruce tree to keep the raccoons from climbing up and then leaping from the tree onto the roof of his workshop. From there they somehow got into the attic of said building where they performed massive amounts of destruction.

He may seem small, but man oh man this bird has the pecker to beat all peckers, eh.

The woodpecker found this tin at exactly 6:03 a.m. today because that's what the red numbers on the clock said when I awoke from a deep sleep with my heart beating madly because I was SURE someone was shooting a gun near our house.

Yep, it was THAT loud.

As you can see from all the discolourations on the tin, he's been pounding away at it happily all day, eh. To make things even worse, This Year He Has A Serious Rival. Oh yes, this year we have the woodpecker version of the theme from Deliverance, only instead of dueling banjos I've been subjected to dueling peckers for most of the day.

"TAP A TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP," the woodpecker played on the tin.

His rival is using the nearby pole where our hydro transformer sits and probably risking electrocution by thumping his pecker on something metal on it.

After hearing Pecker One's challenge, his rival retorted with "TAP A TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP," followed by some sort of woodpecker chittering which probably meant, "Now THAT'S a pecker!"

Have I mentioned that this has been going on all day?

If past experience is any guide, we've got about two weeks of dawn to dusk dueling peckers until the women pick the pecker of their dreams and things go back to normal.

Just shoot me now.

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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