There is no easy way to break this news, so I'm just going to spit it out.

    Apparently there is no closure for men when they pee. What looked to me to be a ritual--unzip, grip, aim, squirt, shake, tuck, rezip--does not involve closure.

    I received this crushing information in my e-mail box this morning. I feel I should share it since I unwittingly disseminated a misconception in yesterday's musings about penises. My gentle reader wrote:

'There's a quote that goes "No matter how hard you shake it, the last few drops always go down your leg." This is not closure on the bathroom thing. This looks like closure, but it isn't.'

'There may be a metaphor here, but I'm not going to try to figure it out.'

    I am, as you can well imagine, reeling. Is NOTHING as it appears?

    Next thing you know, someone will send me an e-mail that you don't need a penis if you want to stand up and pee, and include a URL to back up their assertion.

    Oh. Wait. They did.