����I haven't had my eyes tested since high school, so today was a new experience. The coolest part of the eye test was when the optometrist put the yellow drops in my eyes to test for glaucoma--for a few minutes my peepers were bright yellow, giving me this really keen reptilian look.

����If she had left me alone in the room I probably would have played snake in the mirror. "Yesssssssss, you can sssssssssssee I am dangeroussssssssssssssss."

����Oh, be quiet. It's not like you get bright yellow eyes every day, eh. It's neat even if it only lasts for a few minutes, you know?

����So, anyhow, it's official. No glaucoma, no cataracts but my suspicions have been confirmed and I will have to start wearing glasses to read.

����The perky new optometrist, who looked to be about 12 1/2, was really, really apologetic when she told me. "It's part of aging eye," she said, adding quickly, "not that you're OLD or anything."

����Shyeah, right. I'll be 50 in a few months. I have jeans older than that woman.

����So after the test was done and verdict rendered, I wandered out into the room where they keep the frames to choose my new glasses.

����Those of you who follow the fashions in glasses probably know that the trend right now is very small simple frames.

����No rhinestones.

����None.

����Really.

����I'll bet you're just as shocked by this as I am, eh.

����So, needless to say, in the absence of rhinestones I didn't see anything that I wanted to wear. Paul says he'll go out with me next week and help me choose a compromise pair.

����No rhinestones.

����I still can't get over it ...

����Anyone know where Dame Edna gets her glasses?