My name is Marn.
I am a chocoholic.
Yep, there it is. I've taken the first step towards admitting and dealing with my chocolate addiction.
It isn't pretty.
The problem here is that my husband has worked for several of his carpentry clients for many years and they like to give him something for Christmas. Some give him wine, some give him exotic food treats but most give him chocolate. A lot of chocolate.
We won't discuss how much chocolate has disappeared (Marn quickly sponges the chocolate drool off her chin, tries to keep her head from lolling in a chocolate-induced buzz). Sadly, this picture shows all that is left.
So this is my first New Year's Resolution: deal with the chocolate problem. I will be doing that by eating all the chocolate, of course, thereby eliminating the problem. This is my basic mindset when dealing with New Year's Resolutions.
Now I'm sure the rest of you go into this New Year's Resolution business with loins girded, head held high and your hearts full optimism.
You probably even set fairly realistic goals.
Were you dropped on your head as a child, or what?
If there is one thing my advanced years have taught me, it's that I'm bound to fail at keeping New Year's Resolutions.
There was a time when this depressed me. However, I have found a mature and responsible way to deal with this.
Do I set more realistic and attainable goals for myself?
*Snort*. Are you out of your freakin' mind?
No, I go in the complete opposite direction, setting myself goals that are utterly unattainable so that when I fail, I can fail with my head held high.
Okay, so here's the rest of my New Year's Resolutions:
1) Star in a Broadway musical (I have mentioned that I cannot sing or dance, right?)
2) Win the Nobel Prize for Literature
3) Bring peace in our time
4) Convince Harrison Ford that I'm the only woman he's ever truly loved
5) Teach my cats to bury their poop each and every time they use the litter box.
Yep, so there they are, my New Year's Resolutions for 2001.
I hope I can count on the rest of you to set equally lofty goals, eh.
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine. Kids, don't try viewing this at home without Netscape 6 or IE 4.5+, a screen resolution of 800 X 600 and the font Mead Bold firmly ensconced on your hard drive.
©2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.