Apparently, Satan's Little Sister occasionally materializes on this planet in form of a small tabby cat named Norma. I wish someone would have warned me.

The first time my new calico cat Enid and old gray and white cat Zubby met face to face they were very calm. Ever since then, they gently touch noses as if to say, "Oh, so you're the cat I've been smelling around".

Hallelujah.

Unfortunately, Enid firmly believes that she and Zubby are now each other's Newest and Bestest Friends In All The World, and that this tentative nose touch should be swiftly followed by her icy pink nose being jammed in Zubby's butt. I think we can all sympathize with Zubby's lack of enthusiasm for her somewhat personal follow-up greeting.

I think he's holding out for dinner and a movie.

I hope that a few more growls from him will send her the message to back off and that I can soon leave the two of them alone together without incident.

To say things are not going as well with the other new cat, the tabby we called Norma, would be an understatement. One positive way to look at the situation is that as far as I know neither Norma nor Zubby has access to fissionable materials, so we don't need to worry about a nuclear winter.

Yet.

Part of the problem here is that both cats have instinctively gravitated to the same spots in the house. Norma loves the perch overlooking the bird feeders the spousal unit built for Zubby by the kitchen window. She likes to sleep in the captain's chair at the kitchen table, one of Zubby's favourite sleeping places. She likes to use the cardboard claw sharpener Zubby likes to use.

After almost two weeks here, She Feels They Are Hers.

After eight years of living here, Zubby Feels They Are His.

When I realized there would be friction, I thought the sheer size of Zubby might cow Norma somewhat. He is literally twice her weight and with his long fur he physically looks about three times her size.

Well, I thought wrong.

Norma is waiting for Zubby to bring it on. Every time we bring them together she puffs up to twice her size, begins yowling kitty curses and lashes her tail with rage. Zubby looks steamed, but so far hasn't actually tried to take her on. Even worse, after we engineer a meeting between Norma and Zubby, Norma is cranky and will actually pick on poor, bewildered Enid.

*Sigh*.

When we chose Norma at the shelter, I thought we had picked a self-effacing, conciliatory, sweet-tempered wee tabby cat. It appears I actually brought Satan's Little Butt Kicking Sister into my home. It is my firm belief that if I can actually engineer peace between these three adult cats then I should automatically become the U.N. Envoy to the Middle East. Good luck, eh?

On a happier note, the Bazonga Boosters Hall o' Fame continues to grow! Yes, through the generosity of more of my Three Loyal Readers, $615 has been donated to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, also known as Boobs Canada. The people below are entitled to flaunt the justly coveted Bazonga Booster button, proof positive that they, like a good bra, support the ta-tas.

Tomorrow I start shaking down friends and family. Wish me luck.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 387.11 miles (623 kilometers)

Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers