It could have been a tragedy, but through one of those unbelievable twists of fate that IS his life, Mortimer received a head injury which ended his amnesia. No, really, he did. And now, because of that, he remembers Dutchie, His One True Love.
This being the kind of universe which most definitely unfolds as it should, this miraculous turn of events happened on Valentine's Day, of course.
What are the odds?
It all came about because Mortimer is a gearhead. The moose loves anything that goes vroom, but is particularly fond of the skidoo.
Now I've told both Paul and Mortimer that the only safe way for the moose to ride on the skidoo is to sit on the seat behind the spousal unit, eh.
So as long as they're in sight, that's what happens, but the minute they're out of the yard, Mortimer begins to climb up Paul's back.
Once he makes it up to Paul's shoulder, he starts yelling for Paul to go faster and faster with predictable results. You just can't get this much testosterone on one skidoo and NOT have trouble, eh. This morning Mortimer got pitched into a snow bank headfirst and when he was lifted out he was unconscious.
There were some tense moments, but when Mortimer opened his eyes, the first word that passed his lips was,
Our intrepid hero didn't remember a thing between his moosenapping and waking up in the store where I bought him, but he sure does remember his young wife. He was a brave buckaroo when I explained the current situation to him, how he won't be reunited with his One True Love until the contest between Team Betronic (boo, hiss) and Team Newkirk (yay, yay) ends on March 1.
He keeps going back to the web site with her pictures and making soft little sighs of adoration.
"My arms miss you
My lips miss you
And all that other good stuff REALLY misses you!"
*Marn uses a kleenex to blot a sentimental tear, overcome with emotion.*
Yes, clearly, our Mortimer is seven inches of sweet talking studmuffin. That Dutchie is one lucky cow.
There has been an outpouring of sympathy for the plight of one small moose. The incredibly cute and deeply talented Paul of Rilting fame has even made a button for the Do It For The Moose Campaign.
Here's where the instructions are on how to get it.
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
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This template is a riff on a design by the truly talented Quinn. Because I'm a html 'tard, I got alot of pity coding to modify it from Ms. Kittay, a woman who can make html roll over, beg, and bring her her slippers. The logo goodness comes from the God of Graphics, the Fuhrer of Fonts, the one, the only El Presidente. I smooch you all. The background image is part of a painting called Higher Calling by Carter Goodrich which graced the cover of the Aug. 3, 1998 issue of The New Yorker Magazine. Kids, don't try viewing this at home without Netscape 6 or IE 4.5+, a screen resolution of 800 X 600 and the font Mead Bold firmly ensconced on your hard drive.
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