It was just insanely beautiful outside yesterday--a balmy, sunny, 70 degrees--so it was lunch alfresco chez Marn.

    (And doesn't that just sound a whole big plenty more glamourous than me saying that it was so nice outside that I grabbed my grilled cheese sandwich, cranapple juice, a ratty old beach towel and ate lunch out at the pond? Why yes, I think we can all agree that it does.)

    The kitties accompanied me and hunkered down casually, staring fixedly at my grilled cheese sandwich. I kept waiting for them to do the, "Hey, Marn, is that a pterodactyl over there?" redirection trick, so they could dash in and drag my sandwich off while my attention was diverted.

    Instead, they opted for the simpler, "I will by my thought processes make that grilled cheese sandwich levitate over to my mouth" trick. It didn't work. I ate the whole sandwich myself while they quietly salivated.

    Lunch accomplished, I hopped into the Marnmobile and motored into the village to get some groceries. I just got a little catch in my throat when I typed the phrase "hopped into the Marnmobile" because a phrase such as that emphasizes how much I need a sidekick.

    Batman has Robin, Rocky has Bullwinkle, and Marn has ... no one. (Cue the violins. I'm going for the cheap pity grab here folks. Without violins it isn't nearly as effective.)

    I mean, I've thought about getting Pips. (If Gladys Knight can have three guys following her everywhere, popping some great dance tunes and pithy commentary on her main line of thought, why oh why can't I?)

    But with further thought I've decided that hauling three guys everywhere I go is just more trouble than it's worth.

    A sidekick. I need a sidekick. One person is more manageable than three, although a sidekick poses unique problems, too.

    First off you need your catch phrase, something that makes your dynamic duo stand out from all the other dynamic duos, eh. Who can ever forget Robin saying, "Holy Strawberry, Batman, are we ever in a jam!"

    Already I'm feeling some pressure about this.

    Then there's the question of wardrobe. I mean, with Pips the female lead wears pretty much what she wants and the Pips dress alike. But you get your sidekick, eh, and Decisions Must Be Made.

    Do you do what Batman and Robin did, complementary versions on the same theme, or do you follow the Rocky and Bullwinkle model and allow your sidekick to express themselves as an individual?

    Heck, it's no secret I have no fashion sense whatsoever. I needed Donny to tell me that I shouldn't wear black shoes with my olive cargo pants. How can I possibly dress a sidekick?

    Maybe even a sidekick is more than I can handle.

    Back to the drawing board.