Saturday, Aug. 17, 2002
Dear Diary:

Resistance is futile.

Now you'd think that after a bazillion years of marriage that the spousal unit would have glommed on to that simple fact. I mean, you know and I know that if there's a Harrison Ford movie within an hour's drive, I am going to see it.

I have my needs.

Yes, yes it's been complicated lately, and I will admit that the Calista kerfuffle pushed me to the edge of dumping him as My Personal Lust Object, but, well .... it's been over 20 years now. That's a lot of lusting in my heart. You can't just turn your back and casually walk away from that much history.

So when I saw that Harrison's latest movie, K-19, was playing near us I said I wanted to go.

The spousal unit whined, and whined hard about the situation. The critics have been cruel to this movie. It was a 45 minute drive. He was tired.

I reminded him that I had made The Supreme Sacrifice and sat through The Road to Perdition. It was payback time.

And thus we ended up at K-19.

We were the only two people in the theatre. Oh yes, people are staying away from this movie in droves, droves I tell you.

As the previews for upcoming attractions began to run, we started joking about it being our own private screening.

I think They Must Have Put Something in the spousal unit's icy beverage. It's the only way I can explain what next came out of his mouth.

"Have you ever 'Done It' in a theatre?"

Excuse me?

EXCUSE ME?

DID I JUST HEAR WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD?

He glanced back at the empty balcony behind and above us and gave me the kind of eyebrow waggling leer last seen in a Groucho Marx movie.

Excuse me?

EXCUSE ME?

DID I JUST SEE WHAT I THOUGHT I SAW?

It's a very, very good thing I had passed on the snack bar. Otherwise, I most definitely would have been the victim of a shock-induced, popcorn-related choking death.

Before I could say anything, the doors behind us opened and a middle-aged man sauntered in.

And so it was that the three of us sedately sat in our chairs and quietly watched a fairly crappy submarine movie.

I still haven't decided whether I'm relieved or disappointed.

--Marn

Old Drivel - New Drivel


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -


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