Saturday, Sept. 14, 2002
Help me out here. What IS the proper etiquette regarding a runaway testicle?
The daughter and I were sitting on the Metro (subway) today heading uptown to check out a photo exhibit, buy a birthday gift for a friend's daughter and look for some books for me.
Sitting a few rows ahead of us and facing us was a man wearing shorts, a salute to the unseasonably warm weather here in Montreal this weekend..
Clearly he had decided to go commando because the shorts had rucked up and one of His Boys had decided to slip the surly bonds of earth and was making a break for freedom.
Well, as much of a break for freedom as bulbous bits firmly attached to your body can make.
It took me a moment to register what I was seeing. I blinked several times. I took a quick glance to reassure myself that yes, yes indeed I Was Looking At Dangly Bits To Which I Had Not Pledged My Troth.
This is new territory for me and I did not know how to react. Where oh where is Ms. Manners when you need her? Huh? HUH?
I mentally reviewed my options. I came up with three possible scenarios.
First, I could take the direct approach. This would involve me walking over to a complete stranger, looking him in the eyes and saying, "Nice testicle".
Second, I could use the childish euphemism approach. This would involve me walking over to a complete stranger, looking him in the eyes and saying, "Excuse me mister but did you know that one of your cookies has decided that it's too sexy for your shorts?"
Third, I could use the complete denial of reality approach and simply pretend that I wasn't seeing what I was seeing. "Lah lah lah lah lah. No naked nuts here, nosireebob. Lah lah lah lah lah."
I mulled over the pluses and minuses of each option. My final decision?
Lah lah lah lah lah.
Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -
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