I have decided that my Three Loyal Readers are right. Although my run on Sunday was anything but stellar, seeing as it was my first 10K and all, it is my personal best and I should celebrate it.

Celebrate it, I will.

My closest friends already know about the race and the trophy, but folks who know me casually don't. I've been pondering how to tastefully work it into conversations.

My first impulse was to stand with my trophy outside some local place where folks congregate such as the grocery store, bank or post office whilst wearing a large sign around my neck that said: "Look! I won this trophy! Isn't it shiny?"

However, I quickly discarded that notion as being a bit too pushy.

Only a bit, though.

I contemplated the idea of festooning the trophy with ribbons and wearing it on my head like a hat. However, I'm nearly 5'10" and wearing the trophy on my head might make passing through some doorways a tad dicey.

Back to the drawing board.

My next thought was to buy an incredibly chunky chain and wear it around my neck as if I was some sort of hip-hop star. Besides the fact that the trophy has a granite base and weights about half a ton, even I could see that the very notion of my 53-year-old extremely white bread self trying to pull off gangsta jewelry is just cosmically wrong.

Drat.

My next notion was to convert it into a belt buckle. That was ruefully discarded because again, the weight of the trophy comes into play.

I am toying with the idea of gluing the trophy to the hood of the Marnmobile as a hood ornament. The upper echelons at MarnCo, the ruthless multinational behind The Big Adventure, have voiced concerns about trade-in value and vehicle depreciation.

Party poopers.

Shockingly, all of this is extremely hypothetical since I've been to the gym twice this week and No One Has Seen Laurette, who took our trophy home with her on Sunday to show her family. She said she didn't want to keep it and would drop it off at the gym this week.

If I don't see her Friday I can only assume that she has fled the country to some Offshore Trophy Swiping Haven. It's the only logical conclusion, eh.

You can well imagine my consternation.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 469.54 miles.
Oh man. This is going to be hard
Goal for 2004: 1,000 miles - 1609 kilometers