Thursday, Mar. 15, 2007
Dear Diary:

Last spring we had about $100 in vet bills because Binky, a.k.a Mr. Evil, developed an abscess close to a part of his body that rhymes with "crass". It was painful for him physically and for us financially.

How did he develop said abscess?

Binky, king of the glareWell, Mr. Evil, who is actually a fairly small cat, feels that he can take on anything. Last spring he saw Zubby stalk a flock of wild turkeys near our home and he decided to stalk them, too.

Well, Binky may feel he is a Grade A, Number One stalker, but the turkeys were on to him quickly and I was treated to the hilarious sight of Binky tearing back into our yard as fast as he could with a huge tom turkey right on his heels. I suspect the abscess he developed just below his buttal region might have come from a few sharp pecks from said tom turkey.

Lesson learned.

I thought.

Well, this morning three big wild turkeys strode into our yard and began gobbling up the seed that the chickadees, finches, woodpeckers and blue jays gaily toss to the ground as they empty our feeders.

I personally take great delight in watching the veins in the spousal unit's neck throb after I point out to him how a woodpecker is shoveling out 25 seeds for every 1 seed said woodpecker deems edible.

Hey, I live in the boonies. I take my fun where I can get it.

Binky was already outside when the turkeys arrived, doing his usual homeland security run, busily sniffing the perimeter of the yard. It took him a while to glom on to the fact that three enormous birds (each about five of him in size) had breached security. He was trotting back to the house to demand that we let him in when he spotted them.

He went into Jungle Beast Commando Mode, flattening himself to the snow and inching slowwwwlllly, every so slowwwwwllllly towards them.

In the meantime, Enid and Miss Banana were plastered to the kitchen window that faces the feeders, begging us to let them out because OMIGAWD DO YOU SEE WHAT'S OUT THERE? WHY DOES BINKY GET ALL THE FUN? We didn't dare open the window because turkeys are extremely skittish and they would have been outta there in a flash.

Finally, Binky got within a couple of meters of the turkeys. I held my breath, wondering what he would do. He started to wiggle his butt, a signal that a cat is preparing to pounce.

Yes, Mr. Evil is stupid enough to completely forget the pain and suffering of last spring and once again try to take down a creature that is not only much bigger than he is, but probably also much faster and armed with a beak and talons it's not afraid to use. In his heart, Binky is a lion. A tiny, cranky lion with evident memory problems, but a lion nonetheless.

Turkeys are extremely skittish and they knew he was there. They kept drifting just far enough away from him that he couldn't quite pounce. As we ate our breakfast, the spousal unit and I got to chuckle over his growing frustration.

Finally, he gave up and came to the kitchen window, which the cats have decided is now their permanent door into the house. We opened it to let him, Miss Banana rocketed out, and the turkeys scattered, melting back into the woods in a flash.

As I write this, the spousal unit and his brother are up in the bush tapping the maples, getting ready for sugaring. Yep, spring is finally here. It won't be long until the turkeys breed and we see tiny poults following their moms through the woods. The sight of those tiny turklings is going to make Binky mental.

I think I'd better start saving up for the next run to the vet, eh?


Mileage on the Marnometer: 20.37 miles

Going Nowhere Collaboration

Goal for 2007: 500 miles

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